Chapter 40 | You know nothing

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Breathing seemed like a challenge in itself

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Breathing seemed like a challenge in itself. The whole hospital could probably hear me, but I didn't care. She almost died because some idiot selfishly took the road over-served.

I knew drunk drivers, and I hated them with my father being one of them. He drunk drove with me and my siblings in the car frequently as children going into adulthood. He never cared, not for the consequence of who might get hurt.

Whether it be his own children, his wife, or the neighbor across the street. A lady on her run or a child on the sidewalk. He didn't care, he didn't think about anyone but himself. One time can cost somebody's life, and a DUI didn't stop him either as I'd hoped.

That might as well have been him on the road because now my wife's in a hospital bed injured. I can't even stomach the thought of it. I wanted to kill the driver, I wish they suffered as much as Lily had. Because if they didn't, they will. I'll make sure of it.

The sensation of hot tears dripping down my cheeks bothers me. It felt sticky and out of control, I felt weak and vulnerable. Just like my father never wanted me to be. He'd make sure that I wasn't, he'd beat it into my head.

Mom just smoked her cigarettes on the porch as she saw me go to her after being with my father. She had no words, she never helped. She saw my vulnerabilities and just ignored them.

'He's making you stronger'

He's killing me, Mom.

He was almost killing me and Amelie. What his friends did to the both of us, the demons that live with us, and the nightmares that never leave. It doesn't make me stronger, it makes me unlovable and not affectionate. It guards my emotions and makes me want to run, to gain freedom. And when I finally got it, I still didn't feel free.

Men like him kill people like Lily. The good ones, the purest people to exist who deserved no harm but who received it anyway. Because it's unfair because life is unfair.

Whoever hit her was already dead, if they hadn't died already. They would be, it doesn't make it even, it doesn't make it right. I wouldn't kill them, Lily wouldn't have it. But I'd make them pay, because whoever they were. They had the same mindset as my father.

Nobody else on that road mattered but you.

Not even my wife.

"Mr.Grant" I look up to see the Doctor staring at me and then shutting the door behind her "I know this is quite hard to digest, but-"

"I want to know who did it."

"The police have the full report, I just have his file. But legally I'm not permitted to give it to you. But let me remind you that your wife is alive and is in there waiting for you" she pauses.

"And that's something you should focus on, not revenge, nothing else in the world matters. Because somehow she made it out alive okay?" Her arms are placed on my shoulders staring at my withdrawn face.

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