ᵈᵃʸ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ | ᶜʰᵃⁿᵐⁱⁿˢᵘⁿᵍ

i'm so sorry

Chan finally opened the door, allowing Lee Know to come inside.

The blonde pushed past his boyfriend, going straight to their beloved.

His eyes watered at the sight of the bruised boy lying on the bed, his arms and legs restrained to the bedframe, sobbing at the pain he's endured.

Slowly approaching Jisung, Lee Know began to gently undo his restraints, earning soft whimpers from the boy.

"Please...I can't...I can't take anymore...Don't hurt me. Please."

Lee Know eyes softened, "I'm not going to hurt you, sweetie. Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?"

Jisung nodded, sniffling back his tears.

Chan had already exited the room, going to his and Lee Know's shared bedroom to take his own shower.

He felt prideful, seeing the boy broken and bruised. He wished it was a sight he could see more often.

As Lee Know finished undoing Jisung's restraints, he carefully picked the boy up bridal style, carrying him to a separate bathroom. He knew the smaller wouldn't want to see Chan anytime soon.

Once inside the bathroom, Lee Know closed the door before asking Jisung if he could stand up for a shower or if he'd like a bath instead.

Jisung opted for a bath, not believing that he could hold himself up for a shower.

The blonde began to run a bath, making sure the water wasn't too hot as he knew Jisung's new wound would hurt more in hot water.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. This is going to hurt." Lee Know warned while helping the younger into the tub.

As Jisung's freshly made wound hit the water, he cried out in agony, wanting to be released from the water.

"It'll be okay, I promise." Lee Know's heart ached seeing the boy in so much discomfort.

He knew this day would come eventually, but he was hoping it would have been further down the line.

He was hoping it would have been at a time when Jisung was more comfortable with the duo, a time when he didn't despise Chan for everything he's done.

If anything, things were going to be harder now. All the trust and progress Lee Know has gained with Jisung has vanished.

He's only allowing Lee Know to help him because he's too weak to be on his own. He's too broken, inside and out.

The younger bit his lip, the pain on his hip almost unbearable. But he needed to clean it, to clean himself.

Once Jisung began to relax in the slightest, he turned to face Lee Know, his voice cracking as he questioned, "Why?"

"There's no good explanation, sweetie. I'm so sorry."

Lee Know took Jisung's hand in his, his own eyes watering as he pleaded for the boy to understand.

"Please, don't let this discredit everything I said earlier. We love you. With everything in us, we love you so much, sweets."

Jisung could only nod, his eyes watering as he thought back on the events that occurred earlier.

If this is love, I don't want it, Jisung thought.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Lee Know knew that the younger would need time. Time to process what had happened with Chan and time to process his own words from earlier.

"Would you like me to stay with you? I can go if you'd like."

As much as Jisung didn't want to see either of the duo, he couldn't be alone right now.

Jisung shook his head, "You can stay."

Lee Know nodded, smiling gently as he took Jisung's collar off before helping the smaller bathe himself.

They didn't speak, neither knowing what to say.

All Lee Know wanted was to comfort the smaller, and show him how much he adored him.

All Jisung wanted was to cry his heart out to Felix and Seungmin.

Once Jisung was all cleaned up, Lee Know helped him out of the bath.

"Wait here, I'm going to get you some clothes and some ointment for your wound, okay?"

Jisung nodded, taking a seat on the edge of the bathtub.

He found it difficult to sit since his ass hurt so much. The pain from being penetrated so roughly caused him a great deal of discomfort.

Sighing, he hung his head.

I feel used. Jisung's heart ached at the thought, hating the feeling. I feel disgusting. I feel...I feel upset that I almost enjoyed a part of it. That's so wrong. It's awful, I shouldn't have enjoyed anything.

Thoughts about the way Chan's touch felt against his skin made the boy blush.

But the memories of Chan abusing his body clouded his mind, only making him hate himself more.

I'm disgusting. I'm disgusting for liking the way his hands felt on my waist. I'm disgusting for enjoying the way his lips felt against my skin. I'm disgusting for enjoying the affection, even though it was unwanted.

Jisung's thoughts were interrupted as Lee Know entered the bathroom once more, holding some of the smaller's clothes in his hands.

"I brought you some baggy clothes, knowing that your skin is going to be delicate for the next couple of days."

Jisung nodded, mumbling a thank you to the older.

Lee Know could tell that the boy had something on his mind, the hatred and pain in his eyes from earlier no longer present.

Kneeling in front of the boy, Lee Know hoped that he would open up to him. "What's wrong, sweets? Please, talk to me."

The smaller sighed, "Why did I not hate it?" "What do you mean, sweetie?"

Finally meeting the older's gaze, he felt sick admitting that he didn't hate parts of what occurred.

Lee Know smiled faintly, "It's not an easy feeling to accept, it's going to hurt for a while. But just know that there's nothing wrong with you, nothing wrong with what you feel. Okay?"

The younger nodded, mirroring Lee Know's smile.

"Now let's get you dressed so you can go rest."