ᵈᵃʸ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ | ᶜʰᵃⁿᵐⁱⁿˢᵘⁿᵍ

need vs want

It had been a couple of days since the news about Hannah, since his dinner with The Kim family, since Jisung had decided to choose them.

Not because he enjoyed their family more, or because he felt safer under their rule, or because he could finally spend time with his best friends again.

He chose them because of her. Hannah sacrificed herself so that Jisung could be free. She gave up her life for him, wanting him to live his life with no restrictions or fears.

What kind of person would he be if he recognized that, yet decided to go back to the very people she fought to save him from?

"Jisung? Darling?" Mrs. Kim called out softly, earning everyone's attention. Seungmin, his parents, Felix, and Jisung all decided to have dinner together to discuss everything that had happened, as well as what would happen in the future.

Jisung hummed, waiting for the older to speak. "You've been fairly silent tonight. Is there something on your mind?"

Felix and Seungmin glanced at each other before placing their attention on their best friend. They were interested in his answer since Jisung had shut down. He was refusing to speak about the older duo with them any longer.

"I miss them. I won't stop missing them." Jisung could hear the sigh that was about to leave all their mouths before he continued, "But, I'm staying here. For Hannah."

Silence fell over the table. Nobody knew how to respond. Everyone missed Hannah.

The Bangs had finally released her body, allowing The Kims to hold a proper ceremony for her. Jisung wasn't prepared for the ceremony, but he was glad he could say goodbye to his friend.

"Do you miss them that much?" Seungmin questioned gently, his eyes glued to his meal. He knew the answer, he just wanted to hear Jisung say it.

Before Jisung had shut down, Seungmin was the only person he would run to to cry about the older two. Seungmin was his shoulder to lean on.

Jisung gulped, trying to prevent the tears from slipping from his eyes before he nodded.

He couldn't speak, he knew his voice would betray him and he'd break down right here at the dinner table. So, he kept his mouth shut and his eyes fixated on the glass of water in front of him.

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, nobody knowing what to say after that conversation.

"Jisung? Can I speak with you?" Seungmin pulled the other to the side after their dinner, not wanting to alarm his parents with any more talk about The Bangs.

Jisung sighed inwardly, having a feeling about what their conversation was about to be about.

"Do you want to go back?" Seungmin's tone was serious as he inquired about the other's wishes.

Jisung furrowed his brows in confusion, "I told you guys, I'm staying here." Seungmin shook his head, "I'm not asking about what you said. I'm asking about what you want."

Biting the inside of his cheek, Jisung thought about it for a moment. He wanted nothing more than to see Lee Know's bright smile again.

But Hannah.

"I want to stay here." Jisung whispered, his chest aching with pain at his own words. His own lie.

Seungmin groaned, taking hold of the other's hand to lead him outside of the house to where Felix was waiting by the car.

Before Jisung could question anything, Felix spoke, his words shocking Jisung to his core. "You're going home, Ji."

-

Chan held Lee Know close to his body, listening to the younger snore softly in his sleep.

He had somehow convinced the other to rest, despite Lee Know's cries of wanting their beloved.

But, his rest was short-lived as their doorbell began to ring, nonstop.

Chan groaned out of annoyance as he told the blonde to go back to bed before heading downstairs. "This better be good." He grumbled, swinging the door open.

His eyes softened and his heart stopped for a moment. He was at a loss for words.

Jisung smiled sheepishly, gulping back his fear, "Hi, Master."

Lee Know came downstairs after hearing nothing but silence to see Chan just staring out the doorway. As he neared, he saw why.

"Sweets?" His voice trembled with so many emotions as Jisung just gazed back into his tearful eyes, "Hi, Oppa."

Lee Know began to advance towards the younger, wanting to wrap his arms around the boy and never let go.

But he was stopped by Chan, the older's arm blocking the doorway to Jisung.

"Honey?" Lee Know spoke softly, wanting to hold his beloved. He wanted his boyfriend to move.

Chan was too stunned to move. He wasn't sure if the younger was actually standing before them.

It wasn't like he thought Jisung was a ghost or something, he just thought they'd never see the boy again. So, seeing him now, it felt surreal.

Slowly stepping forward, Chan stood just inches from the smaller. Jisung looked up at the older, his heart beating inside his ears.

Without warning, Chan engulfed Jisung in a tight, borderline bone-crushing, hug.

Lee Know smiled to himself as he joined in, Chan wrapping one of his arms around his boyfriend.

Jisung breathed in the comforting scent of the older two, his whole body relaxing in their presence. His mind was at peace all of a sudden.

Pulling back, Jisung told the older two that he wanted to speak with them about staying.

"Sweets, this is your home. You don't have to-" "No, Oppa. I mean," Jisung cut off the blonde, stepping back from the two to create some space. "I want to have a discussion about new rules, permissions, and lifestyle. I'm not coming home unless we can meet halfway."

Chan took hold of Jisung's hands, their eyes locked as Jisung saw something in them he'd never seen before: fear.

"Tell Master what you want, doll."