Cerita terbuku || Phc and other AU oneshot

Along || angst (5)

(Time skip after spm, 4 months after he woke up from his coma tw: sh)

I sat next to Kahar. I was called by Ayah Harun, frantically telling me that Kahar had done it again

He had locked himself in his room and cut himself again.

I let Kahar held onto my hand as the doctor clean his cuts. I looked at him, he looks skinnier, more tired. He had given his all for his spm. He had woken up month before spm.

I knew how tired he was.

The doctor said, his head injury contributed in his psychosis, that and combined with the schizo he already has... he's not doing well.

"Nyawa.." he suddenly calls out. I smiled and looked at him. "Ya?" I asked. Kahar just looks down. I know what this is.

Kahar and his brothers had to stay with Ayah Harun as their Papa was busy with his pelamim business and their mama went to Johor for a vocational training.

Kahar doesn't take that too well..

He had avoided his Ayah. After the affair. He couldn't even look his ayah in the eyes. He locked himself in his room, stealing the spare key even. Making sure none of his siblings and ayah can reach him.

His episodes are more frequent, he keeps seeing things, chasing him, looming over him. Staring at him and many more.

Kahar had built the tendency to cut, burn and sometimes hit himself. He said that those things disappear when he does so.

"Kahar." I called him. He looked at me, his eyes are empty. "Jom? Doctor dah wrapped wrist awak dah." I said carefully with a smile on my face. Kahar followed as I told him. We walked out and sat at the chair near the medicine counter. I texted Ayah Harun, notifying him that Kahar's wrists are fine. Nothing too deep.

"Abdul Kahar." The nurse called. I stood up and went to the counter. "Ini untuk sapu supaya tak infection. Ini untuk makan, 2 kali sehari. Antibiotics bagi habis ya?" The nurse said.  I smiled and nodded. I made the payment.

"Sayang jom?" I turned and said. Kahar nodded and stood up. Taking my hand in his. I guided him to the car. Making him slowly sit on the passenger seat. Putting the seatbelt on.

Kahar was silent. I knew he didn't want to go back to Ayah's house just yet. I heard his stomach growl and smiled sadly. "Sayang belum makan ya?" I asked. Kahar just shook his head.

"Makan nak? Kita pergi kedai yang awak suka tu?"

Kahar looked outside the window before turning to look at me. "Okay." He finally answered.

Like always, I ordered then as take outs and went to our favourite spot. Eating in the car is quite normal for us.

"Nyawa... kenapa awak masih ada dengan saya?" He asks, breaking the silence between us. I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to look at him. I leaned against the door.

"Saya... gila, nyawa." Kahar continued, finally meeting my gaze. I shook my head. "Awak tak gila."

Kahar chuckled darkly and showed his bandaged wrists. "Orang gila ja yang sakitkan diri sebab ada bayang yang suruh. Orang gila ja yang nampak bayang macam saya, nyawa."

I took his hands, caressing the bandage softly.  "Saya... kadang-kadang tak sure. Awak.. awak ni betul atau cuma bayangan saya."

I frowned. I stopped caressing his wrists and instead brought his hands forwards, eventually kissing his knuckles. "Awak rasa tu? Saya real." I told him carefully.

Kahar sighed. His breathing now heavy and tears flowing down.

"Saya takut, nyawa." He cried. I pulled him into a hug. "Saya... saya dah lama tak bercakap dengan Naim, Fakhri.... Ayah." He continued. "Saya taknak hilang keluarga ni.... Macam saya hilang keluarga saya yang dulu."

I patted his back carefully. Letting him cry his heart out. I pulled away and raised his chin. "Awak.. awak belum hilang semua tu."

"Sayang... awak kena pergi therapy balik, makan ubat, kita kena usaha sayang, awak tak boleh biar saja benda ni."

Kahar sighed and played with my fingers. "Balik jom? Hm? Saya boleh tolong carikan therapist dekat awak."

Kahar nodded. He trusted me enough for this. "Awak.. awak aturkan untuk saya.." he said, asked.

I drove him back home. Placing a blanket over him as he fell asleep half way through the ride. Once we're at the front of his house, I softly caressed his cheek. Calling his name. "Kahar, dah sampai." I told him.

Kahar opened his eyes and looked around. He held onto my wrist. He wanted me to come in with him. I nodded.

"Saya.. nak duduk sini." He said. Pointing at the couch. This is new, usually he would just pull my hand to the garden spot, it's quite reserved, no one near, sometimes even forcing me to go to his room. Wait until he falls asleep and then only I can leave.

"Okay." I told him. I sat on the couch and he laid his head on my lap. I played with his curls. He decided to turn the tv on. A show was playing and he gave me the remote.

Moments later Kahar fell asleep. "Akak." Fakhri and Naim said. Sitting on the couch near me and Kahar. "Along.." Fakhri trailed. I've talked to him before.  Fakhri blames himself. If he didn't hurt Kahar, his schizo episodes won't be as bad..

"Along okay. Tak dalam sangat. Along ada bagitahu apa dia nampak?" I asked them. Usually, Kahar hear voices telling him that his father was at the door. His father as in Ayah Yamin.

Naim shakes his head. "Tapi along ada jerit nama.. ayah dia. Waktu tu... akak waktu tu ayah tengah peluk along ta-tarik along sebab." Naim sobbed. Fakhri pats Naim's back softly.

"Sebab along cuba panjat balcony dia." Fakhri continued.

I looked down at the sleeping boy. I played with his curls. "Takpa.. harini akak contact therapist lama along. Lepas coma tu dia langsjng taknak pergi tapi tadi akak dah pujuk. Dia setuju."

Naim and Fakhri looks relieved. "Akak... bila along nak maafkan kami. Naim.. naim rindu along. Tje sobbing boy said. Fakhri tried to control his tears but hearing Naim's cries, he couldn't.

"Along tengah... sakit. Nanti dia sihat, dia dah sihat minda.. nanti pujuk along. Ya?"