Cerita terbuku || Phc and other AU oneshot

Along || hurt/comfort (6)

"Awak, saya bukak pintu ya?" I asked softly, gently knocking at the wooden door.

I didn't hear any response from the other side. I just decided to use the spare key to Kahar's room, the one that he had given me himself.

I unlocked the door and twisted the doorknob. "Jiwa." I called again once his figure enters my line of sight. Kahar is leaning against the headboard, his blanket covered half of his body, he was wearing a hoodie, staring into the distance.

I could tell he was hearing voices.

Kahar's schizophrenia is mainly auditory, his hallucinations only turn visual when he's deeper into an episode.

"Jiwa." I called again, and it kind of snapped Kahar back but he looks... dissociated.

"Ayah cakap awak belum makan, ni saya baru balik dari bengkel ni, ada beli subway order yang awak suka tu, saya dah potong, makan jom?" I asked him, smiling and end up sitting next to him, holding out the paper bag.

"Ada orang dekat sana." Kahar said and pointed to his wardrobe. "Awak nampak?" I asked him.

Kahar shakes his head, his eyes are still pinned onto the wardrobe, looking like a terrified prey.

"Ada.. suara... cakap." He said, his speech a little delayed, he's in and out. In between as he always explains it.

"Okay." I answered, walking towards the wardrobe. "Nyawa? Bahaya!" He screamed in panic when he realizes that I am walking towards the 'beast's' area.

I smiled and turned to look at the wardrobe. "Takpe, saya kuat." I said with a reassuring smile so that he understands, I am there to help.

"Tak! Nyawa sini!" Kahar yelled out in distressed. Eyes moving more frantic between the wardrobe and me, scared that something, someone, would come out of the wardrobe and harm the both of us.

Kahar moved forward to reach for me but looks terrified to move from his bed.

"Okay, okay." I replied and went back to my previous spot, sitting near. "As long as kita dekat area katil, dia tak boleh kacau." He said. I nodded and smiled. "Okay... but in the meantime, kita boleh makan kan?" I asked him. He took a few moments to consider but eventually nodded.

I smiled and gave him his sandwich, maybe Kahar knows or maybe he doesn't that I usually place his pills, crushed up in his food when he refuses to care for himself like this.

"Makan okay? Saya keep watch, make sure dia tak datang kacau awak." I said while gently caressing his cheek.

Kahar nodded and I just leaned onto the headboard, watching the wardrobe as I promised.

Kahar starts eating, eating like he hasn't in days. Not stopping even for a second to lift his head, looking away from his food. "Jiwa saya...  awak last makan bila?" I asked him. Kahar just shakes his head and swallowed hardly as of his mouth was dry. 

"Semalam. Tak makan."
I looked over to the clock, it's almost 4 p.m. this means he hasn't eaten for almost a day. I looked at him, he seems scared, tired, his dark circles are the indicator that he hasn't sleep in a while. I reached for my phone and connected the bluetooth to his speaker, playing some music. 

I reached for his head and softly pats his head, Kahar startled and looked at me with genuine fear in his eyes. "tak jiwa, saya ni." I tried to play it off casually, smiling to him but pulling my hand away. Kahar stared at my hand and reached for it, placing my hand on his head, I smiled and softly plays with his curls. "Awak.. saya letih." He admitted. I took the sandwich. He ate half of it and that's fine by me. "Tidur la jiwa," Kahar nodded and laid his head on the pillow. I played with his curls still. 

"Nyawa.." He trailed, eyes pinned onto the wardrobe still. I caressed his cheek and turned his head by his chin. "Saya jaga awak ya? Awak tidur, saya keep watch ok?" 

Kahar seemed relieved, trusting me enough to sleep around me. He was sleepy, tired and finally laying down. 

"Saya sayang awak...nyawa saya." Kahar said sleepily before dozing off to sleep.