"Please la jiwa, say something, anything!" I begged him, after ranting about the whole situation.
It's quite normal for the curly haired boy, to suddenly ghost and leave without telling anyone anything. Lately, since he's a freelancer, he's been doing it more, for longer this time.
Kahar kept quiet. Not even addressing the issue. Not talking.
"Jiwa kalau saya tak tahu masalah awak, saya tak boleh tolong." I said again.
It's 2 am in the morning, he had called me and asked if I was busy, if I could pick him up from the train station. This time, he broke the record, he's been MIA for 4 months.
"Naim, fakhri, papa, mama, ayah, semua risaukan awak, jiwa. Awak dengar tak ni?" I asked him. Again, Kahar kept his mouth shut. Eventually I heard a sigh but nothing else.
The sigh triggered something in me. I pressed my forehead against the steering before laughing unamused.
"Awak rasa saya ni membebel ke Kahar?"
Kahar shook his head. "Saya... taknak bebankan awak dengan masalah saya, nyawa."
The same thing. He's repeating the same thing. Again and again and again.
"Kahar." I said and paused. Questioning if my decision is correct.
"Awak... dah tinggal saya macam ni berapa kali dah? Awak hilang, tak ada khabar, tak ada notice, terus hilang, phone tak angkat, mesej tak reply." I continued. Eventuallg building up courage to look at the man I love.
"Saya sayang awak, jiwa... jiwa saya tapi-"
"Nyawa.." Kahar cut off my words. We sat in silence before I turned my head. I looked at the road.
"Tapi saya tak sanggup nak hadap ni... awak hilang, berbulan, banyak kali dah Kahar."
Kahar nodded, he already knew where this conversation is going.
"Kalau... awak macam ni.. jiwa saya mintak maaf tapi.." I trailed and looked down at the ring, sliding it off making my finger feels too light. Gently handing it to him.
"Saya tak sanggup Kahar."
Kahar looked at the ring, then back up at me. The whole car ride we didn't utter a single word.
When we were finally there. Kahar took a second before opening his mouth.
"Saya mintak maaf, nyawa. Saya bukan macma orang lain, saya tak dapat ubah diri saya macam orang lain." He said, his voice raspy as he's tired from travelling. Not to mention he was softly crying on the way home.
"Saya harap...awak bahagia.." he said before
Opening the door.
He stood there, as if waiting for me to drive away from his life. As hard as it was... I did.
YOU ARE READING
Cerita terbuku || Phc and other AU oneshot
FanfictionPhc boys and their other roles. Some are reader insert and some are not (ft kahar from aku selalu ada)
