Fixing Broken Hearts

17

Warnings:
-Trauma response (freezing + nightmares)

Tristan's POV

~ A Few Days Later ~

I had been trying to be there as much as I could for Elliot, because I had been suspecting him not to be okay like he acted he was. A few days ago, when Clay came to our house because he was severely beaten up, Elliot slept at our house.

Clay took the guest room and Elliot slept in my room, but I noticed he was really restless. He kept moving in his sleep, his skin became clammy and eventually he screamed and woke up, follow by a panic attack that lasted about thirty minutes...

Ever since that day, I had been paying more and more attention to him and kept noticing the strangest things. Sometimes, he froze and genuinely stood still for minutes. Other times, he suddenly quit talking for hours, or he had panic attacks on random times.

Eventually, I noticed he was scratching his skin a lot when he got nervous and earlier this morning, he ran from class. When I followed him, he was crying in the bathroom. I managed to get him to trust me enough to open the door and he cried and had another panic attack.

'El,' I said when we were walking home. 'Would you like to come to my place today? We have early practice tomorrow because it's Saturday so we can immediately get ready together.'

'Yes, please,' he answered with a relieved look in his eyes. 'Do you think I did well yesterday at practice?'

'You did amazing,' I cheered, nodding heavily. 'But you seem a bit off the past few weeks. I've been worried about you.'

He immediately avoided the subject and began to kick a rock on the path to act like he was playing soccer. I decided to leave it for now, but didn't want to let him suffer alone either...

I kicked the rock towards him to play with him and hope I could at least make him smile once. He did and kicked it back to me, but his movements got slower and slower. He moved his foot back and stayed quiet. From my own experience, I knew he would be able to stay quiet for hours now...

~~~

Just like I expected, Elliot stayed quiet the whole time he was here with me. I asked where he wanted to sleep, in my room or the guest room, but that choice was quickly made when he crawled into my bed.

I smiled and stepped into the bed next to him, gently pulling him closer to me. I wrapped my arms around his bare chest and pressed mine against his back. 'I love you, Elliot. I hope you know that,' I whispered.

My stomach started to fill with an intense amount of butterflies when I looked at him. I couldn't deny the feelings I had for him anymore, but truly hoped Patrick would never find out that I had been in love with Elliot for months.

He made me so happy, but my love for him made a lot of things complicated too. I was jealous when he had other friends or spent more times with others and being with him was like I was on another planet.

I thought about kissing Elliot every day, multiple times. I wanted to call him mine forever, my boyfriend and the one I would love for the rest of my life. However, it wasn't the reality and Elliot wasn't mine, but Patrick was.

Someone who mistreated me and made me feel worthless, someone who made me throw away my food and caused an enormous amount of self hate when I looked in the mirror. A boyfriend who made me feel like I was smaller than an ant, who made me feel like starving myself was a better option than living freely and focusing on soccer.

'I love you too,' Elliot suddenly whispered, holding my hands as he curled up. 'More than you know...'

He looked me into my eyes, making me get lost in the moment. I held my breath and wanted to lean forward, realising Elliot was actually moving closer to me as well. I gulped and tried to lick my lips as unobvious as possible, getting ready to finally make my dream come true.

Out of nowhere, Elliot seemed to realise how close we had become and he moved away within a second. I quietly laid down again and stared in front of me as I started to let go of him more and more to stop confusing or annoying him...

~~~

I wasn't able to fall asleep after what happened, but Elliot's awful tiredness made him fall asleep. He was still comfortable enough to crawl into my arms, but eventually, he suddenly began to move a lot.

I looked down at him and heard him groan quietly. His hands were shaky during his sleep and his bottom lip was trembling. I could feel his back getting more clammy and then he mumbled some soft words.

'Don't hurt him,' he whispered with an unclear voice. 'He didn't mean to, don't!'

His voice got louder and more demanding, or rather, full of panic and fear. 'Let go, don't hit him! Dad, stop hurting him. Clay, run! RUN!'

He shot up in his bed, but was still asleep and deep into his dream, or better said, nightmare. He started breathing faster and heavier and was poking his nails into his own skin, while my brain was working at the quickest speed to figure out what he meant.

'Dad, don't do this to him! He's bleeding, his head is bleeding, his ribs are bruised. Stop hurt him for once, you've caused enough!'

I started shaking his body heavily to wake him up as soon as I understand what was going on. He kept groaning and crying softly, but after a while, he opened his eyes and looked at me.

'Come here, El,' I whispered straight away, opening my arms widely so he could accept the hug if he wanted to. He did without a doubt and slowly but surely, tears started to roll down his face.

'I'm with you, El. I won't let go of you until you feel ready to be let go. I'm here and I'll reassure you another million times if needed,' I replied to comfort him and ignore the rest of the problems until he was ready to talk.

However, my suspicions had slowly become true as I had a strong thought that his brother, or both, got abused by their own dad...

1092 words