Fixing Broken Hearts

36

Warnings:
-None

Elliot's POV

I felt like an awful person for being upset when my dad was allowed to come home after a few days in the hospital. I didn't know what he said about Clay, but knew the police were looking for him either way.

I wasn't sure if they were looking for a missing person or a suspect, but hoped he wouldn't be charged for something he likely hadn't done. I knew he wouldn't have stabbed him out of nowhere, and my dad quickly hid a baseball bat before the paramedics and the police arrived at our place.

Ever since he got home, I did anything to avoid him. He was sitting downstairs most of the day, commanding everyone who came near him, but my name turned into "faggot" instead of Elliot and the insults he used to hurt Clay passed to me.

I was somewhat lucky that he couldn't walk well, but knew he would have beaten the crap out of me if he was able to. He made sure I knew that I was a disgrace, a sinner and a failure, just like his other son. He tried to manipulate me into feeling bad for him after having two of his sons turn out into useless pieces of shit.

Tristan wasn't allowed anymore at our place, and no matter how hard I tried, he couldn't get in. I snuck out a couple of times to see him, but I wasn't that enjoyable anyway. I hadn't smiled since Clay left and the reasons for me to get out of bed began to get lower and lower.

Still, I stood up and walked to my window, staring into the direction Clay ran. I just really wanted him to be okay and come back, but I was afraid he wouldn't just show up anymore. For what I knew, he could have even been dead and I wouldn't have known.

~~~

After staring for an hour, I saw two people walk towards our house. I moved closer to see who they were, and then gasped loudly as I saw it was Clay. I didn't hesitate and jumped up, wincing because I was still in pain after being beaten.

I sped down the stairs and quickly ran to the door. 'Clay!' I yelled out, running right into his arms. 'You're okay, I'm so glad to see you here.'

Clay smiled shortly after moving away from me and turned his eyes down, glancing at the man for a second. 'El, I know you may not agree with me, but I went to the police. I can't do this anymore, I'm so lost and keep losing myself more and more. I want to live again, Elliot.'

'Did they believe you? Did you tell them about the... incident?'

'I did, and I showed them proof,' Clay replied. 'I may get in trouble either way, but I can't continue like this anymore. I can't live in fear the whole day and snapped today for the first time in actual years.'

'I don't want them to know I'm gay...' I whispered. 'Because we will have to go to a foster family and no one wants to take a gay guy...'

'I'm sorry,' Clay mumbled. 'I'm sorry for failing you. I didn't see a way out anymore, Elliot. I need help or else I'm... not going to be okay for much longer.'

'Don't apologise, I understand and just want you to be happy and stop suffering,' I answered, wrapping my arms around him for another hug. 'I love you, you know that, right?'

'I do...' he said quietly. 'But I'm not doing okay right now and have trouble showing my emotions to you. I lost myself, Elliot. I became a sex worker for a few days to get money when I was alone on the streets. I don't even know who I am anymore, I'm completely lost and it takes time to heal, if I ever heal again.'

'You will, I promise,' I responded. 'Are the police coming to our house? What are they going to do?'

'They are, but it could take some time for everything to be processed. I've shown them proof, but I don't know how serious they are going to take it. I think I just... need a moment alone right now, if that's okay.'

I nodded right away. 'I think I do too. I'm so glad to see you again, but everything has been hard.'

'I know, El. I feel responsible for making your life harder and will do anything I can to help you get through it. I just have to clear my mind before I can.'

'It's not your responsibility,' I stated straight away. 'It's our father's, but not you and it'll never be yours.'

He smiled, but the broken look in his eyes showed that genuinely all of his hidden pain was coming out. 'Elliot, I think as soon as dad gets arrested, I may have to go for a while to go to an inpatient rehab clinic.'

'Rehab?' I asked confusedly, feeling a shock go through my body.

'I just didn't want to make you even more sad so I decided to stay quiet about it... Anyway, I guess I've ruined a lot already so, this won't make it that much worse. I've been addicted to heroin for months. I don't want to stop, but if I want to live again, I guess I have to.'

I closed my eyes for a second and breathed in. Somewhere, I felt angry at him for doing such a thing. I never expected him to be the one to do drugs, but I could have thought of it as well, mostly because he was often too calm during the day.

Instead of getting angry, which I knew would make it only worse for him and even harder to quit the thing that made him feel alive, just like I had been staying in bed all day, I decided to reply kindly. 'I'm proud of you, no matter what, Clay.'

'I don't think you are,' he whispered. 'I can see it in your eyes. You're disappointed.'

'I'm not, I just wish you wouldn't have had to go through even more. I wish you wouldn't have ever grasped onto drugs, but I guess I do understand it as well. I try to escape by staying in bed all day, and avoiding the real world, and this is your way.'

'Thank you,' he whispered, turning around. 'I love you too, I hope you'll know that forever too...'

1090 words