Fixing Broken Hearts

45

Warnings:
-Substance abuse (alcohol, cigarettes and drugs) + swearing
-Obsessive sexual behaviour

Elliot's POV

~ A Week Later ~

I took my third pill of ecstasy and kept laughing as I smoked weed. I was genuinely happy again for the first time in years, I found an amazing group of friends who didn't constantly judge me or try to change me.

I felt accepted here, I even told them I was gay and they didn't care because most people were open minded or gay themselves. They didn't stop me from trying out stuff and I figured out how much I loved to drink, smoke and do drugs.

Casper, the boy I met up with, was sitting next to me as I continuously smirked and looked around me to see all of my friends. We felt no shame around each other, two girls making out with barely clothes on in the back of the room after making out with some other guys too.

I felt no attraction to them, but wanted to be touched as well. 'Guys, I'm horny again. Who wants to fuck me?' I asked, pushing my hand into my pants to touch myself. 'And get me some alcohol.'

Brandon walked up to me with a shot glass and handed it, pulling me on his lap while we were both on drugs and drunk. He pulled his pants down, mine right after that and soon enough, decided to do it while everyone was able to watch us.

'I can't imagine you were once too insecure to even kiss a guy,' Casper said with a chuckle. 'Now he's getting railed multiple times a day. You should make a video, dude, and post it online.'

He turned his camera on as Brandon and I had sex, something that was so normal in this friend group that no one even looked up at us. 'Come on, Casper, join us...' I groaned.

Casper laughed and nodded, coming closer to us with a smirk on his face. 'I swear, I don't believe you've ever been this innocent, shy guy.'

'I understand why I was so unhappy,' I whimpered. 'My old friends just didn't give me any room to do what I wanted to... They would freak out if they knew about this. But I don't care, I blocked them so they won't bother me anymore.'

'Good, they were awful friends, dude,' Ginny yelled from behind in the room. 'That Tristan guy was so slow. Imagine you would have to wait until marriage because he believes in that God guy.'

'God is fake, dude,' I replied. 'Who cares about that shit? I just want to be fucked and get high and wasted.'

~~~

After I took some cocaine, more ecstasy and alcohol and had sex with three more people in a few hours, I fell asleep. I was so wasted that when I woke up hours later, I was still tipsy.

I knew I was getting really addicted, but the second I woke up, I reached out to get some more alcohol and ecstasy. After swallowing the pills, I grabbed my phone and saw a spam of messages, mostly angry ones.

Tristan
you don't even know how angry I am, Elliot. I've been sick because I've been so worried about you. you need to come home right now or I'm calling the police to get you home today

Clay
I thought better about you, Elliot. do you realise what you're doing to Tristan? he literally got sick due to the stress and you're ignoring him and blocked him. I guess making an Instagram account was the only way to talk some sense in that little brain of yours

Clay
I don't give a crap about how you treat me. I wish you wouldn't be so selfish and also think about me sometimes, but if you dare to mistreat Tristan this badly, I'm personally going to find you and kick your ass until you realise what you're doing

I cared so little that I rolled my eyes and blocked both of them, seeing Lana stand up to me. She knelt down next to me and looked me into my eyes. 'Elliot, don't you miss them?'

'Who?' I asked with a clueless voice. She grabbed my hand and breathed out.

'Your brother and Tristan, soccer and your old life...'

'They don't exist to me anymore, I'm different and don't need them in my life,' I replied. 'I'm going to smoke.'

'Elliot, I know you're going to hate me, but I guess someone has to be the responsible one here. You told us what happened in the past and your behaviour is just an escape. This isn't you and you're going to regret this. Your brother needs you, Elliot, and so does Tristan.'

'I don't see a single reason why they need my help, they can manage it all on their own,' I said coldly, but she shook her head.

'You were the only one there when Clay was severely abused, when your father passed and when he was stabbed. He doesn't share those moments with anyone else, only with you. He's able to speak about it, but it's way different than to simply get a hug from someone who gets it.'

I stayed quiet and swallowed, staring at the table full of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. 'I finally feel happy again. I want to live my life like this without them holding me back.'

'You don't want that, Elliot. Do you remember falling in love with Tristan? I could see the spark in your eyes when you mentioned him, but you got lost in a world full of lust. I know you don't want to be this way, but letting go will bring you back to the trauma you're trying to avoid.'

'Tristan doesn't like me anyway, so why would I ever go back to him? I don't like him either, I don't like romance, I just like sex.'

'Does Elliot like that too?' she asked, causing me to sit up slowly, my elbows on my thighs and my chin on the palm of my hands. 'I know you don't want to be reminded, but you're fifteen, Elliot. You wanted to wait until marriage and you've now had over five sex partners at your fifteenth.'

'Why are you shaming me?' I scoffed. 'It's not like I'm the only one...'

'No, but I do think you're the only one who is running from his problems right now.'

'They don't want me anymore, Lana. I just want to be happy and I can't be when I'm with them, they'll never accept me back into their lives and I can't take more heartbreak.'

Angrily, I walked off to go outside with a bottle of alcohol in my hands, but honestly, I knew she was completely right.

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