Fixing Broken Hearts

44

Warnings:
-Underaged usage of alcohol (getting drunk) + obsessive sexual behaviour
-Throwing up

Elliot's POV

I was so deep in a world full of addictions that I couldn't get out of it anymore, even if I wanted to. I was bingeing and throwing up multiple times a day and went back to my sleepless nights, watching porn basically the whole day.

It was escalating completely and porn didn't excite me enough anymore. I started recording myself as I pleasured myself and tried out anything I was possibly able to do, but it didn't give me the excitement I wished for.

I got so lost that I went on a site with other gay people and started sharing videos the whole day long. It went from one innocent picture, with a lot of anxiety, to videos that could come straight from a porn site, but I genuinely didn't care anymore.

However, as I was walking towards a bar I was going to meet up with someone, I still had a little voice in the back of my mind telling me to turn around. But honestly, I was so lost and hopelessly seeking peace and distraction that I didn't care and continued walking to the club.

Without showing anyone my ID, I was let in and sat at the bar. I stared at the drinks, raising my hand so the bartender would come closer to me. 'Hi, what can I get for you?'

'Something strong,' I replied. 'At least forty percent alcohol.'

I never drank before and always told myself I was never going to drink either, but I broke so many promises already that I stopped caring completely about what the old Elliot promised. I wasn't that person anymore and doubted if I would ever become him again.

!! underaged usage of alcohol, getting drunk + obsessive sexual behaviour !!

The bartender filled a cup with a small bit of alcohol, which I finished in a few seconds. I squeezed my eyes and tried to keep myself from gagging, pushing it back to him again. 'More, please...'

~~~

For the first time, I got awfully drunk and laughed about absolutely nothing when a guy approached me. My cheeks were bright red, so were my nose and ears, and my smile was bigger than it had ever been.

'Hi, cutie. I'm sorry that I'm late, but I see you didn't mind,' he said with a laugh, grabbing my hand.

I felt incredibly touchy and laid my hand on his chest as I laughed and pressed my stomach against his. 'You're so hot and I'm really horny.'

The guy smirked and turned around, pulling me with him. I didn't care wherever he would take me and stumbled after him, so drunk that I could barely stand on my feet.

I was pulled to a quiet area behind the club and laid down on the grass field behind a bush. He knelt down in front of me and grinned, his hands on my pants which I didn't mind at all.

'Do you want to do it?' he asked, causing me to nod right away. I didn't hesitate and pushed my pants down and took off my shirt. Luckily, because it was dark, he couldn't see the scars on my arms very well and undressed too.

He turned me to my stomach and began to touch me as he prepared me for what was about to come, not a singular regret inside of me right now, only lust...

~~~

I was panting heavily as he rolled down next to me, laughing softly. 'Was it your first time being a bottom?'

'It was my first time ever,' I replied with a loud laugh following. 'I'm still so horny, show me what else there's to do!'

He just chuckled and nodded, making me go down to his genital area. I didn't feel any sense of shame, but still knew I should have stopped. However, I was too drunk and lost to stop doing what I was doing right now and seemed to only get further and further away from the reality.

~~~

It was far past midnight when I was starting to feel less drunk and realised I was laying on the grass, naked and next to another naked guy. I stared at him and sighed, but still, the insane hopelessness won it from my healthy thoughts.

'Can I come to your place? I just don't want to be at home,' I asked, a smirk on my face to convince him. 'We can do it as much as you want.'

'Alright, sounds good,' he replied. 'I came here by bike so you can sit behind, you're not heavy anyway.'

!! over (still mentions) !!

~ The Next Morning ~

I never expected to find myself in the situation I was now, but after a night where I let the guy, I didn't even know the name of, have sex with me three more times, eventually watched porn and masturbated the rest of the time, I stood up awfully tired.

I looked around me to find my clothes, but soon after I did, I heard the guy behind me groan. I turned around and looked at him waking up slowly, realising my body was revealed in the light of the sun.

His eyes immediately scanned my scars, but my main worry was the nausea and the severe headache building up. 'Where is the bathroom?' I asked hopelessly, but he was zoned out staring at my scars.

!! throwing up !!

I rolled my eyes and wanted to walk off as suddenly, I fell to my knees and threw up on the floor. He jumped up and ran towards me with a frown on his face.

!! over !!

'First time getting drunk?' he questioned with a laugh. 'I remember throwing up the whole next day.'

'I'm sorry,' I stumbled as I stared at the floor. 'I'll clean it, but I feel terrible right now.'

'Don't worry, cutie. I'll clean it for you. Go take a shower, I'll join you in a minute.'

I didn't even care anymore, sober or not, and stood up to go the way he pointed to. I opened the door to his bathroom and turned on the shower, stepping inside. I immediately slid down the wall to sit down and curled up, laying down on the shower's floor on my side.

!! throwing up !!

My head started hurting more and more and the nausea was getting even worse than it was before I threw up. I gagged again, leaned forwards and suddenly threw up again. Bile stung in my throat as the guy ran in and looked at me while laughing.

!! over !!

'You definitely never drank before,' he said as he opened the shower door to get in as well. 'Probably not in the mood to have sex, aren't you?'

'I am in the mood, but I feel too sick to get up. I'm just always horny the past few days,' I replied hopelessly.

'Sounds like a great match because so am I,' he answered. 'Are you sore from yesterday?'

'I guess,' I stumbled, closing my eyes as I revealed myself to him. 'Just get started...'

1174 words