Fixing Broken Hearts

27

Warnings:
-Panic attack

Elliot's POV

~ The Next Day ~

I went home for Clay yesterday after soccer, but only then realised he wasn't at home and texted me that he went to his friends. I ended up having a sleepless night and early in the morning, I had to fight to get up and go to school.

Luckily, seeing Tristan motivated me to go and eventually I walked through the hallways to look for him. However, it seemed like he was late, something he used to avoid because he hated to be too late in class...

My feeling of excitement faded away a second later, but a shock went through my body when I realised the text I got from him yesterday. An uneasy feeling started creeping up my chest, a prickling sensation shooting up my spine.

Tris <3
Patrick randomly came over, I'm not sure why. don't worry tho, I'll be okay <3

I never texted him again because of a few panic attacks that numbed me, but started to feel more and more guilty for not responding to him when he needed me the most.

You
tris, I apologise for not texting back, I don't want to make excuses for it and really hope you're okay. I was looking for you at school, you're never late :( I'm really worried about you

I looked around me, but then saw Patrick in the distance. I jumped up and sped up to get to him before he would go to his friends. He paused and looked up at me, rolling his eyes.

'Oh, it's you again, what do you want?' he asked. 'Because Tristan told me everything, alright? He told me about your "PTSD" which is just a scream for attention, by the way, because you're right, only the victim can actually have PTSD. He also told me about your little secret, gay boy.'

My cheeks flushed red right away. 'No, he wouldn't have told you that... Where is he? Why is he not at school?'

'Poor Elliot, don't you realise it was all just the plan? He tricked you into believing I was abusive and acted like he loved you, just so we could have a laugh with our true friends. Your crush and I had sex yesterday, he doesn't love you...'

'No, he's a Christian and he said he wants to wait until marriage,' I whispered, feeling my chest get tighter and tighter.

Patrick sighed and grabbed his phone, suddenly showing me a recording of Tristan on his bed with a smile on his face, mumbling the words: "I would like to have sex with you..."

The recording was cut off and Patrick swiped to the left, a video showing up. I grabbed his phone and gasped as soon as I saw Tristan on his stomach as Patrick thrusted into him. I threw the phone away and turned around, running to the first stall I saw.

Within seconds, a panic attack began, but this time so badly that I stopped breathing. My whole body became numb again, I couldn't move myself anymore and forgot how I had to breathe. But after holding my breath for so long, I collapsed and passed out on the bathroom floor...

~~~

A bad headache was pounding in my head as I tried to sit up, but my muscles were completely paralysed. I gulped and did anything to move, but I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't move from my stinging shoulder nor could I sit up to look around for help.

But then, as if it was meant to be, Sapnap and George were busily talking as they walked into the bathroom together. They immediately turned quiet when they saw me and George didn't hesitate, kneeling down next to me.

'Elliot, what happened?' he asked as he ran his hand through my blonde hair in the hope I would calm down. He could see the tensed muscles in my body and gently lifted me up. 'Is this what happened last time when you were in the library?'

I could only nod and saw Sapnap look something up on his phone. 'I'm pretty sure these episode are caused by trauma, aren't they?' Sapnap asked as he scrolled through something online. 'PTSD?'

I couldn't shrug and eventually pressed my head against George's chest, who gently rocked to calm me down. 'You're safe with me, completely safe.'

For some reason, I bursted out into tears. It felt like all of the tears that had to come out the past few days were suddenly streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't believe the words Patrick said, I knew he abused Tristan, but how could he have known and why would Tristan say those things?

'Look at me, you can talk to me,' George demanded when he saw I started to panic more and more. 'Elliot, breathe in, calmly.'

'I l-loved him so much,' I cried out, grasping onto George's hand. 'I can't talk a-about it, I w-want to but I can't t-trust anyone it s-seems.'

'You can trust us, I promise. We have absolutely no intention whatsoever of telling anyone about your situation, we are a year older, in a different class and no one in our year even knows you. Next to that, we have no clue why we would want to hurt our best friend's little brother.'

It sounded so believable and I had such an intense need to speak about my pain that I sobbed and turned my eyes away. 'I'm i-into guys and I don't w-want to be. I was r-really in love with s-someone but he l-lied to me...'

'First of all, I'm so proud of you for telling us about this. There's nothing wrong with the way you feel, this is who you are and what you're meant to be like. I'm really sorry the person you loved lied to you and I hope we can do anything to cheer you up, if you want.'

I nodded slowly and moved even closer to George with all the strength I had. 'Do you know where Clay is?'

'Yeah, actually!' George exclaimed. 'Clay told us what happens at home, or at least, he hinted to it. He's at my place right now, sleeping. I'm not sure if you were there for it, but he was beaten again yesterday and couldn't come to school.'

'He didn't even text me,' I whispered. 'I should have been there for him.'

'He wanted you to rest,' Sapnap said with a gentle smile. 'We were there for him and he didn't want you to worry again. Don't worry about it, Elliot. You've done more than enough.'

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