Fixing Broken Hearts

39

Warnings:
-Hallucinations (panic attack)
-Self harm/suicidal thoughts

Elliot's POV

~ A Week Later ~

I expected Clay's waking up would magically fix all of my problems, but soon I realised he had such severe injuries that it would take months for him to be even able to eat on his own. He was fed through a tube, couldn't speak nor walk or even smile.

Looking at his purplish and swollen face made me relive every single moment that happened and because I had multiple severe panic attacks when I was with him, I decided to stay away from the hospital for a week until the bruises would slowly start to get less visible.

I knew he missed me and heard from Tristan that he had been asking for me multiple times a day. Tristan tried to explain to him how I was feeling, but he had been hit against the face so often that it left some permanent damage to his brain and caused forgetfulness and confusion.

But as soon as I was able to focus on my own situation, my mental health as well as my physical health decreased so severely that I started to hallucinate. It started with some sounds, but then turned into seeing my father in front of me.

The first time, he was just walking, but the second time, he was holding a bloody knife. I started screaming so loudly that eventually, I passed out. I woke up in Tristan's arms, who told me my mother called him because she refused to take care of me and was bothered by my loud noise.

However, the hallucinations had been getting worse and worse each day that passed by. Eventually, I stopped being able to recognise them as hallucinations and Tristan told me I had basically been hallucinating the whole day long, for days now.

I was laying on my bed after Tristan left me alone very shortly, just to take a shower at my place because he hadn't been at home much to stay with me. But as soon as he left, the hallucinations got so bad that I started to shake heavily, my eyes spread wide open when I saw my dad again.

'Leave me alone,' I whispered. 'Leave me alone, NOW!'

I gulped and jumped up right away. I stepped backwards and ran to the back of my room, where I vaguely remembered hiding a knife in case I had to protect myself from my father. I truly believed he was real and heard his footsteps in the room, nearing me.

As I gasped, I stuck the knife out in front of me. I saw the door open, my hands shaking so heavily that I had to squeeze the knife as hard as I could so I wouldn't drop it. Soon enough, my father appeared in front of me and I started to scream again.

'GO AWAY!' I yelled out, my voice breaking in the end because I genuinely had never screamed this loudly before. 'LEAVE MY ROOM, YOU HARMED US ENOUGH!'

I heard some vague voices speak to me, but I didn't process any of them and continued to scream and swing the knife around. Accidentally, I slammed it against the door and then began to freak out so badly that I lifted it up to my throat.

'I will kill myself to end this pain, dad. Leave me alone! LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!' I cried out, pushing the knife against my throat to slit it open.

'Elliot,' a voice whispered, a soothing voice that only scared me more. Why would my father speak so sweetly to me? He didn't even love me, he never did.

'STOP SPEAKING TO ME, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!' I screamed, closing my eyes as I fell down on my knees. 'STOP TALKING TO ME, I DON'T WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU!'

I was shaking so badly that I felt the knife make small cuts in my throat, only pushing it down harder. Just as I was getting ready to cut my throat, my wrist was grabbed and turned around. I dropped the knife on the floor when someone punched my hand and I screamed louder and louder.

'I'm with you, Elliot. It's me, Tristan,' a voice sounded, which made me stop screaming for a second. I opened my eyes as I sat on my knees and looked up at someone approaching me.

'Stay away,' I demanded, pushing his leg. 'Please.'

'I will, I won't come near you,' he promised, kneeling down in front of me, on a few metres distance. 'I promise.'

'Who are you?' I stumbled as I saw his face in front of me, my eyes widening more and more.

'Tristan, do you remember me? I'm the boy you fell in love with,' he assured me, but I honestly couldn't even remember who he possibly was...

'Are you real? Can I feel your hand?' He stuck out his hand and made me tap it carefully. 'You're real... Are you my dad?'

'No! I'm not your dad, I promise. He left, okay? I know you saw him, but I promise you, I saw him leave.'

'Where and when?'

'A minute ago, he left through the front door,' Tristan replied, making me breathe out. 'Good job, you can relax. Elliot, in a minute, there's going to be some people coming into the room, okay?'

'Why? Who? Did you hire people to kill me? Please, spare me. I went through so much, please,' I hopelessly begged him.

'No one is going to hurt you, but these people are going to help you, okay?'

'No, send them away. I don't want to talk to people, only to you. You seem kind, I can't trust you, though. You may be siding up with my father and then I would be in trouble.'

'I'm not siding up with me, I'm against him!' he answered with a convincing voice. 'I promise.'

'What if there's cameras in the room that are recording us? You should have checked!' I shouted anxiously. Tristan stood up and started searching the room, sitting back down.

'I haven't seen cameras, we are safe!' he exclaimed, scooting closer to me. I immediately backed away and pressed my back against the wall, my hand in front of me.

'Leave, don't come close to me,' I said with a frightened voice. 'Keep a few metres or else I'm going to scream very loudly.'

'I will. Look, I'm backing off. You can trust me, as you can see.'

'Will those people be kind to me?' I asked with an emotional voice. 'Promise it to me.'

'They will be, I promise, Elliot. I promise.'

1109 words