Fixing Broken Hearts

22

Warnings:
-Mentions substance abuse

Clay's POV

~ The Next Day ~

I stared at myself in the mirror while tears were running down my cheeks. I felt like I had only come to the realisation of how unhealthy and unhappy I was right now. Yesterday, I relapsed again and used more drugs than I had done in ages.

I could see some red veins in my eyes and most of the white turning bloodshot. My skin had a greyish tone and my hands were shaky due to the intense need to do drugs again. As soon as the drugs wore off, the pain in my wrist got so awful that I had been unable to stand up until I took another shot of drugs.

I didn't get high from it, due to the low dose and the amount my body got used to, but still managed to ease the pain a tiny bit. But as soon as those effects wore off, I started to cry and slowly died from the pain inside.

Hopelessly, I went to Tristan's bathroom after a while and searched through all of the cupboards and drawers in the hope I would find some meditation to ease the pain with. I ended up grabbing some strong, prescribed, medication because I couldn't deal with the pain and had to use something.

~~~

I decided to go to school while I was high from the medication I used and had a bag full of heroin in case I needed it. Slowly, I walked up to George and Sapnap, who I hadn't seen in ages and didn't text either.

'Hi,' I greeted them as I sat down next to George. He looked up right away and gasped when he saw the bruises on my face. 'I know, I got into a fight with some dumbass on the streets. He thought I looked at the PIN number, I told him I wasn't and he hit me.'

'Holy crap, dude,' Sapnap stumbled. 'Your eyes are so bruised, and your forehead too. Why are your eyes so red?'

'Haven't slept in a while because of the pain I had,' I replied with a confident voice, not wanting any of them to know what truly happened.

'Alright so, your girlfriend is coming up to us,' George suddenly stated, which made me turn my eyes away. 'You don't seem too happy with that.'

Isabella caught up and without asking, sat down on my lap. I gasped because the pain still hadn't faded after the surgery, the stitches covering most of that area.

'Come with me,' she demanded with a grin, but I gently shook my head and tried to pull away from her. 'Come on, we haven't had sex in so long!'

'Isabella, stop,' I stumbled, standing up to get away from George and Sapnap, who absolutely didn't need to know these personal things about me. 'We got caught once, that was enough.'

'You're a pussy, Clay. My phone was taken, do you remember? I'm the only one risking a punishment here!'

'No need to risk it for me, leave me alone. I'm not in the mood to talk with you and definitely not to have sex with you. There's more important things on my mind right now, so leave me the hell alone.'

I left her alone in the middle of the hallway and sat down again, Sapnap looking at me with a frown. 'Are you good?'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' I lied, wishing for one of them to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. That I wasn't as alone as I often felt...

'Clay, do you remember the project? We've worked on it together the past few days, but you haven't done your part at all yet. In the planning we've made, we are going to your place today to work on it.'

'I'm really sorry, but we can't go to my place today,' I said with a shaky voice. 'It's a mess at home right now and we are... taking care of my baby nephew for a while, you know. Lots of crying and it's my task today.'

'Bro, I understand it's hard, but I live in an apartment where I have to sleep with my brother in one room and George's house is still full of work guys. It would be best to go to you either way.'

'No, it's really not possible,' I exclaimed, panic in my eyes. 'It's not possible, it's too busy. I can't go there, I don't have time to work on the project.'

'Dude, you keep ditching us all the time and expect us to have pity or something? Don't act like an ass all the time and help us get the grade we need. If you want a zero, fine, but then we are going to the teacher to tell him you're not doing shit,' George scoffed.

'I'm trying my best,' I whispered, looking down at my hands. 'But I genuinely don't have time.'

'Whatever, dude. You've ditched us so often and still expect to get pity,' Sapnap answered with a raised voice from anger. 'If you don't do this part of the project, we have to kick you out of our group, to be fair. We really want a good grade.'

'I want a good grade too, but please, understand that I don't have time. I would have done it if I could, but I can't,' I tried one last time, thinking about how badly I was going to be beaten up if my father saw I got a zero. 'Please.'

'Bro, unless you come with a valid excuse, we can't just let you ditch us all the time. You keep getting into fights yourself, you can always just walk away and instead of going out, you can do something for school.'

I could barely keep my eyes open from the tiredness but nodded. 'It's all my fault, I'll try...'

'Fine, but if you mess up again, we can't continue to do this with you. It's not the first time we got a low grade because of you and we need this to pass our school year,' George said. 'I've not been able to focus and really have to get my grades up.'

'I'll try harder, I'm sorry for being such a failure,' I whimpered as I stood up. 'I have to use the bathroom.'

'Clay, we didn't mean to make you feel like a failure, but we really want a good grade,' Sapnap tried to defend himself, but I already walked off...

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