You Make Me Feel

Nineteen

It had been two days since Emma had walked out and she hadn't heard from Shane. Margaret had convinced her to stay with her. Emma threw herself into her work in the hope it would distract her. She had also managed to avoid the press. After the last class of the day they locked up the studio and went back to the house. Gillian was standing on the doorstep. "Gillian! Hi" Emma noticed she was holding her suitcase. "I thought you might need some things so I went to collect them for you. Shane is away with the lads to London and isn't back to later but I have a spare key" Margaret invited Gillian in and left them to catch up. "How you holding up?"
"I'm not. I try to keep myself distracted but it's hard. He's not tried to contact me or tried to find me. He doesn't care" Emma burst into tears. "He does care. He's giving you space"
Emma looked at her "have you spoke to him" she asked. Gillian nodded. "He told me everything and I wasn't exactly nice to him about it. How can he blame you? It was that Mandy." Emma nodded. Gillian continued "The main reason was the touring after having him home for so long. The other small reason was his kinks. I didn't know he had been seeing Mandy when he was in Dublin though. That surprised me. I knew he became interested in BDSM but to hear he was her submissive was a shock. Yeah she was always about the lads when they played Dublin. Typical obsessive fan but I didn't expect any of this." They chatted for a while longer before Gillian said she had to go. "You're welcome to come to ours any time. Why don't we go for lunch tomorrow?"
"I would like that."
"Good. Meet you at Vintage Lane cafe at 12:30" Gillian hugged emma and headed home.

**********

The next day Emma was for ready for her lunch with Gillian. She chose to wear her favourite black trousers, a purple long sleeved top and flats. She called a taxi and five minutes later was on her way to the cafe. Emma knew Shane was back home and she was hoping to avoid him. Arriving at the cafe she saw Gillian hadn't arrived yet. She sent her a quick text and got a reply straight away "just leaving. Sorry for running late. Grab a table and I won't be long x" Emma chuckled and headed inside. She was shown to a table. The cafe was quiet. Emma sat with her back to the door. The owner of the cafe came over and asked if she would like a drink as she waited. Emma ordered a tea. As she sat there sipping her drink she heard the cafe door open. She assumed it would be Gillian. She looked up. "Shane!!"
"Can I join you?" She nodded.
"As you've probably guessed Gillian isn't coming. She wanted us to sit down and talk" Emma didn't say anything. "I'm sorry that I blamed you for everything. None of this is your fault. I was scared and lashed out at the wrong person. I'm the one to blame. I should never have got involved with Mandy but I had needs and I wanted to experience the whole bdsm thing for real. Doing that with a fan was a mistake but I was too scared to go to a play room." Emma still didn't say anything. She felt conflicted. She wanted to forgive him but she was still upset. "My lawyer is going to sue as she signed a non-disclosure. She's gone against that by speaking to the press." Emma nodded. "Good" she said quietly. She looked at him "you have to understand how much you have hurt me. I can forgive you but I need time to get over this. So that means starting over again."
"Are you calling off the engagement?"
"I don't know. I know if I'm seen in public without the ring the press would have a field day so I will wear it but it will take time to heal the damage that's been done. I will sleep in the spare room. No sex. Kissing and holding hands yes. That's as far as it can go until I'm ready."
Shane looked heartbroken but he nodded "ok."
The owner came over and took their order. Shane filled her in on what his lawyer had to say. She was hopeful Mandy would get what she had coming to her. After they finished lunch, Shane took Emma back to Margaret's to collect her things. "Look after her Shane." He nodded. Soon they were back at the house. The photographers had gone. Shane took her suitcase to the spare room. "You don't need to do this. We can still share a bed Emma."
"I can't. Not yet. I need to learn to trust you again." He took her and hand "I love you." With his other hand he took the ring out his pocket and placed it on her finger. "I promise I will make it up to you. I can't lose you."