The Arrangement Factor (ARRANGEMENT SERIES #1)

Chapter 53

Sarah's POV

The Christmas kiss was nothing short of magical; words cannot adequately describe the profound emotions and the butterflies that took residence in my stomach. It felt as though a swarm of butterflies had conspired not to fly but to create a turbulent butterfly effect and whirlwind within me.

Over the past week,I've been contemplating my feelings. They're unlike anything I've ever experienced, and I couldn't ignore them any longer. I've come to realise that this sensation in my stomach, the one that intensifies whenever Alex embraces me or gazes at me, was impossible to ignore any longer.

Determined to explore these feelings, I decided to take action while Alex was back at work, and everyone else was occupied with their own affairs. Left alone at home, I resolved to understand the reason behind my behaviour when I was around Alex.

Google was my sole resource to delve into this perplexity. Although my initial inclination was to call Mia for guidance, but I didn't want to disturb her while she's with Daniel, getting to know each other better. I couldn't ask her to drop everything to help me unravel my own feelings. Besides, every time I bring up Alex in our conversations, she offers insights and advice that make me blush. I decided to push those thoughts aside and focus on my mission.

My next source of guidance was none other than my trusty laptop and the vast realm of knowledge provided by Google. Oh yes, It's worth noting that I only acquired this laptop because of Maa's insistence, or rather, her blackmail. During exam time, I asked to borrow her laptop for something important, as Alex wasn't home. Little did I know that this request would lead to an unexpected laptop shopping spree, along with a subtle blackmail threat. Maa had cleverly blackmailed me into getting the laptop, warning that if I didn't comply, she'd inform Papa and Alex, and they would be the ones I'd have to reckon with.

Given the history of the phone incident debate with Alex and the car incident with Papa, which concluded with Papa writing half his will in my name, I was well aware that there was no room for negotiation with these two authority figures. Likewise, Maa's resolve made it clear that there was no way to sway her either.

So, long story short, here I am with a new laptop that I rarely use, and as Maa always says, "Things are here to alleviate your concerns, not add to them."

Anyway, returning to my mission, I decided to Google my symptoms, and the results suggested I might be experiencing some serious anxiety issues. I don't know, am I? I then google for more symptoms for another half an hour and from the results I got, I think now I definitely need a therapist.

I found myself in the kitchen, near the counter, as it was the only place I could focus. When I'm in my room, all I can think about is Alex. While sitting on my bed, I think about how wonderful it is to cuddle with him to sleep. And when I'm near the window, at the chairs, I can't help but remember how irresistibly sexy he looks when he steps out of the shower, wearing just his suit pants or sweats. I yearn to touch his abs... See, I told you, I can't concentrate when I'm thinking about him. In short, the kitchen was my only sanctuary for conducting my research.

Finally, I came across a blog post in which the writer mentioned that these feelings can happen when you're in love with someone. No kidding, Sherlock! I've known that I love him for a long time, but why am I experiencing these emotions now?

Yes, I love him, and I was actually planning to tell him on Christmas. However, I recalled what he said about love and didn't want to risk ruining a day that was going so well.

The blog suggested that I should talk to my partner about my feelings. I tried to express it when he kissed me on Christmas night, but it was much more challenging than I had anticipated. I searched for tips on how to confess my feelings, but the answers I found were rather unhelpful.