The Arrangement Factor (ARRANGEMENT SERIES #1)

Chapter 60

Alex's POV

I woke up after three days of my birthday in my penthouse.

Three fucking days? How the hell was I even here?

Why was my hand bandaged and hurting like hell? Why were bottles all around my room and bed, and I was smelling like crap?

Then all the memories of my birthday came rushing back to me. I drank a lot that night when I came here. My head was hurting like hell, but what was more hurting was what I did.

FUCK!!!

What the fuck did I do? I hurriedly got up and went down to go home and tell Sarah how fucking sorry I was and it was all my mistake. I am a fucking idiot. But I tripped off the bed as my legs would not take my weight.

Then guilt stopped me, and the look in her eyes when she slapped me. "I hurt her real bad. I don't deserve her; she would probably hate me by now," I said to myself, holding the cheek she slapped.

I remember punching my hand on the wall after coming here and drinking a lot. I was angry with her, with myself because I held Sarah in a bad way just because I thought it was not Sarah but her.

Then I called Dan to tell Sarah to leave me because I didn't deserve her.

I looked at my phone, and she was calling. How the fuck am I supposed to answer it? What should I say?

Should I even be talking on the phone, rather than in person? I hurt her in person, and is it even right to apologise over the phone? Would an apology even do anything after all that I said and did? I said so many bad things and held her in the wrong way.

Moreover, I don't have the courage to face her after what I said and did to her. FUCK!!

I checked my phone, and I had hundreds of missed calls from my parents and Sarah. I can't take this; I hurt them all, and I can't face them after all that.

I then saw a jar on the bedside table. I crawled to it and saw it was the same jar Sarah gave me on Christmas and said to read it whenever I am feeling these emotions between us.

So I took out JEALOUSY first because that's what led to all this fucked-up situation.

My Dearest Alex,

As these words reach your eyes, I sense a touch of emotions lingering — perhaps a hint of jealousy or a perception that I, too, harbour such sentiments. Let me untangle these threads and lay bare the truth.

If It's Jealousy

Alex, if ever a tinge of jealousy clouds your thoughts, know this – you mean the world to me, your importance in my life is immeasurable. No measure of words can aptly convey the depth of my care for you. In times of doubt or uncertainty, know that my loyalty to you is unwavering. I care for you deeply, and no matter what adversities we face, my commitment to you remains steadfast. In moments of uncertainty, don't hesitate to look into my eyes. There, you'll find the truth, an unspoken pledge written in the depths of my soul. The bond we share is unbreakable.

If It's the Perception of Jealousy:

In moments when you think I might be jealous, remember, that my trust in you knows no bounds. Yes, there might be a sting when others attempt to encroach on what we share, but deep within, I trust you completely. I may be hurt by the advances of others, as I know you would be too if roles were reversed, but my faith in you prevails. I'll wait for your truths, believing in the purity of your intentions. Your words are your bond, and I believe in the integrity of your intentions. Your honesty and commitment are the pillars that uphold our relationship, and I stand steadfast in that belief. You may not love me, but I have unwavering confidence that you will never betray our bond.