*:･ﾟYou Bet I Stare ･ﾟ:*

CHAPTER 45 - what was i made for

MITSUBA
—❁—

As I watched Kou rush out of my room, I could only bring myself to tear up as Tsukasa finally shut himself up. He's been talking to me and telling things ever since I woke up earlier, but I've been ignoring it. He's doing this because he feels that it's unfair the way that they exorcised him and not me, but I don't think he realizes that only ghosts can be exorcised. Tsukasa is practically using me as his karma at this rate and it's tiring. It's like a bad dream that I can't wake up from, and I hate it.

"Sousuke!" I quickly look over at the door as my mom rushes in, probably in response to my heart monitor going crazy. "I'm sorry.. I—" My lips form a frown as I feel my head clear again. "I just.. had a bad dream.." I bring my hands up and wipe my eyes, trying to make my tears unnoticeable. "You're alright, take a deep breath.." I keep my palms pressed on my eyes as I feel my mom put her hand on my shoulder.

Everything that Tsukasa was saying was a lie.. I don't want to eat human flesh. He's trying to make me out to be some gross monster so that Kou will leave me again out of pity for himself.

My eyes looked over at the door as I replayed what I saw when Kou got up and left. He looked so angry and upset.. was he upset at me or upset at him?

"How is that IV in your arm, honey? Is it hurting you any?" I shake my head, lying to her immediately. "I'm almost off of the clock now, so how about I get us some breakfast from the cafeteria so we can eat together?" "Breakfast? Is it already morning?" I look over at the window in the room, trying to see if it was bright outside already—but it wasn't. I'm guessing it's probably only 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning.

Is Kou sleeping now? Surely he isn't..

"Yeah, it's already morning time. I think you should try and rest before we eat some breakfast though, I don't want you to pass out from exhaustion or anything.. it isn't good for you to stay awake like this when you're healing." "Okay.." I nod my head and look down at my legs, growing quiet as I feel my mom plant another kiss on my head. I shouldn't ask her about if she knows where Kou went because she'd grow suspicious, and he would get in trouble for sneaking here to visit me. "Alright Sousuke, do you need anything else before I go?" I shake my head. "Okay Honey.. I'll be back soon." "Okay.." My lips mutter the same dry response as she leaves the room once again. I should probably message Kou as soon as possible.

[Sousuke Mitsuba] : kou
[Sousuke Mitsuba] : i am sorry

My eyes stayed glued to my phone as I waited for signs of him to see the message, and soon enough he did. I then waited to see if he was beginning to respond, but there was nothing.

[Sousuke Mitsuba] : i am really sorry

As I kept my eyes stuck on the message I just sent, I couldn't help but feel myself begin to cry. It felt like I was begging for him to say all over again, but this time I was doing it in silence. Maybe this time it's different since we've already shared so much together, and I can't see myself letting him go after filling submitting everything that I have to him. To be honest, I still can't help but wonder if maybe I could beat him to it this time if he was beginning to consider it again. Maybe it wouldn't hurt as bad?

[dumbhead idiot stupid] : For what?

[Sousuke Mitsuba] : u left in a rush
[Sousuke Mitsuba] : and i scared you
[Sousuke Mitsuba] : therefore i am sorry

[dumbhead idiot stupid] : What are you talking about? I left quickly because I didn't want to get caught seeing you.

[Sousuke Mitsuba] : kou it wasnt me
[Sousuke Mitsuba] : i wasnt saying those things