Escape From Reality || Ranboo ✔️

twenty-eight :)

Mulholland Drive - Ariya

My Moon Boy <3

picking you up

where are we going?

idk, anywhere

are you okay?

be there soon

alr

I got in my car and drove the hour of distance between me and the boy ive grown to love since the day we met. Somehow though, love isn't all it's made out to be. I mean, why do I love someone who doesn't love me for me.

The whole drive there i was thinking about what to say to him. I knew the roads to his house like the back of my hand, so i didn't have to focus on the driving aspect of it all.

My Moon Boy <3

asterin? are you okay?
what's taking so long?
are you not at Jimmy's?
oh fuck you're not at Jimmy's
why are you coming here from San Jose?

im outside

omw

"Where are we going?" Ranboo asked, getting in the car with a hesitant smile. I tried to smile back, trued to hide the lingering tears strolling leisurely down my face.

"Anywhere but here." I replied, my face and voice devoid of any emotion as I pulled back onto the street, noticing he was buckled and ready to go.

"Are you okay?" The boy asked, trying to make sure I was alright. As if he actually cared. As if he had the right, any right at all.

"Are we okay?" I asked back immediately. My eyes filled with tears a lot faster than i'd have liked, and I quickly wiped them away, keeping my eyes on the road.

Despite the blur everything was becoming, I did a good job at driving us to the parking lot we called our spot. The first place we met after knowing each other, where he asked me to prom, where he told me he loved me, where he told me he didnt want me being me anymore. Our spot alright.

"I don't know." Ranboo whispered just before silence became of us. That's all we had as of recent, mutual silence to drown out the unnoticed tears and the emptiness lingering in our hearts.

I pulled into the space we usually park in. Ranboo unbuckled as did i. His seat fit him comfortably, his seat. I never let anyone fuck with the positioning because it's his spot in my car. It's his passenger seat, and nobody else has any right to it.

"You said you loved me and then a minute later you tell me you want me to stop living on the edge. You say you liked me for me but it's obvious you don't and it's also extremely obvious that you don't know me. What the fuck are we doing then? Why are we going around kissing and telling other people we're dating and all of our friends we're together but never once having put a label on it and you not wanting me to be fucking me." I said, voice getting more stern and accusatory as I went.

"I never said-"

"No because you did! Xavier you-"

"I don't want to worry about you every second of everyday. That's why I don't want someone living life on the fucking edge! You're gonna get pushed the hell off!"

"By who, Xavier!"

"Yourself! I can't watch that happen!"

"And I can't watch myself slip away again." I said, looking directly at him.

"Then I guess it's best we stop what the fuck were doing." Ranboo whispered, still staring at me.

"I guess it is." I responded, truning the engine back over and buckling back up.

"Where are we going."

"Ho- I'm taking you back to your house." I whispered quietly, cursing myself for calling his house home.

He was home to me, but i have to get over that now.

"So that's just it?"

"You're the one who said we're done Xavier, so we're done." I responded dejectedly. I drove down the streets to his house, silence being the last thing we shared before he went inside. He left his hoodie on the seat, whether intentional or not, i slipped it over my head and drove. I drove anywhere but my house, not wanting to be near anyone. I shut down my phone, my last location being Ranboo's.

I drove over the San Fransisco bridge.

I fucking hate this bridge.

Guess time never really changes things, huh.

I'm tired.

Me and Izzy don't talk as much anymore and I took our relationship for granted. Caroline and I rarely interact, also took her for granted. Ranboo just ended things. Kai talks to me, but I don't talk back. I don't have anyone else. I literally just, I need to go somewhere, anywhere.

I ended up on Mulholland Road in Los Angeles. Uncle Jimmy took me here a few times. I parked my car and sat on the side of the cliff just staring. I sat there staring and crying and thinking for hours. Eventually the sun came up and I got in my car.

Next destination, well certainly not San Jose.

I drove around the rest of the day, blaring music with the top down and my dnd on. Nothing could take away from this moment.

I didn't eat, I didn't stop, I didn't look at my phone. I just drove and cleared my head. When I finally got home, it was twelve in the morning.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Mom mom yelled as soon as I walked in the door. I shrugged and rolled my eyes. hanging my keys on the hook next to the door and walking to my room. I slammed the door and locked it, my feelings hitting me like a ton of bricks.

"Asterin." Asher whispered as he walked into my room. He sat down on my bed and my walls crashed, leaving dust and rubble in its wake as i sobbed hard.

"He ended things, we're done for good. I didn't think it'd hurt this fucking bad, Ash." I sobbed, my breath barely staying long enough for my lungs to feel full as my heart raced and my head spun. "It hurts so bad."

That's when I realized. This is what tears me apart.

Xavier Carter
tears
me
apart.