Relocating

Ready

"What is Rachel going to do?" "It's terrible!" "What's she going to do without Tom and Shannon?" "They should've been around longer." "That money isn't going to get her anything but trouble."

That's all I've heard the past 3 hours from random people around the room. All they're doing is staring at me. They're hoping they're giving me comfort with a smile, but it's not working. Their fake smiles mean nothing to me and I'm about to scream at them to all just get out of my house. All I see is bodies that were all friends of my parents wandering around. They all look uncomfortable. They all want to leave. I get they want to show me respect, but can't they just go away. I would leave if it wasn't my last day in my house. It's the house I've lived in since I was born.

Tomorrow I got whatever money the house and all of its furniture sold for, my inheritance, and had to get out. My Aunt Mary was packing all of the family trinkets. I didn't want anything anymore. I knew where I was heading tomorrow and I knew why. My destination was California for obvious reasons. I had nothing left for me in Connecticut. I had my bags packed. My plan was already thought out several days after my parents died 2 months ago. I was hopping on a plane and staying in a cheep hotel until I found a job and an apartment. I called the owner and pulled my sob story. He told me I could stay as long as I like. I was getting used to pulling the orphan card. I get it. I get it. It's wrong, but I don't have much to live on. I was actually dying here. Every second I spent in this house was wrong. I needed a place with no memories.

They only person I told of my planned departure was Aunt Mary. She yelled at me for a good 20 minutes and finally realized why I had to leave. I saw her gazing across the room at me now. She smiled. That's the first genuine smile today. She was happy for me that I was starting my new life. I was relieved my old one was going to be over. I decided I could get away with hiding in the bathroom upstairs for the remainder of the after funeral gathering. I head to the staircase and Aunt Mary grabs my arm.

"Hey Rach." She said and pulled me into a hug.

"Hey." I say and hug her back. I escape her grasp. She breathes a heavy sigh and begins speaking again.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'm actually excited and happy for the first time in two months."

"That's great." She smiles, this time more sadly.

"I need to go do this." I say, almost a whisper.

"I know. You're just all I have left of my big sister Shannon. I'm sad to say goodbye."

"Me too, but I'll be happier where I go."

"I understand. All the money is together and ready for you tomorrow. I'm keeping some here, for a safety stash."

"Thank you. I trust you."

"As soon as you get out there, get a car, then food, then other essentials and find yourself a real place to live. Promise me."

"I promise." I smiled and hugged her tight.

"Do you want me to take you to the airport in the morning?"

"It'll be Friday. Don't you have to work?"

"No. I'll be fine going in late. I want to say goodbye."

"I'll visit you once I get control. I promise to come back in the summer."

"It's March, so we have a ways to go before I see you again." She said and smiled sadly.

"I love you okay. If I can, I'll come back before then. I swear."

"Cross your heart."

"Crossed." I say and hug her.

About 2 hours later the last person leaves and it's just me and Aunt Mary.

"Ready for San Francisco?" She asks.

"Definitely." I reply.

"As long as you're happy I'm happy."

"Thanks Aunt Mary." I say and she hugs me tight.

"Alright I'm going to go sleep on the extra mattress." She says and goes to the living room. I head into the kitchen and plug in the good old coffee maker. I wasn't sleeping tonight. I wanted to sleep on the long flight tomorrow, so it would fly by. Haha 'fly by.' Travel humor. I hear Aunt Mary snoring, so I decide to take one last venture around the house. I head to the basement and decide to work my way up. I go to the workbench and sit down. Only two months and it's covered in dust. I could still remember coming down here as a little girl. My dad and I made a small dollhouse when I was about 8 together. I was covered in paint because I wanted to paint myself instead. I remember him laughing at me afterward. I could still hear his laugh. I walked back up and headed to the living room. I sat on the floor, not distracted by Aunt Mary's snores. I sat on the floor in front of the fireplace and contemplated for a minute what California was going to be like. My mom would be here to tell me "Stop worrying! You'll make something of yourself anywhere!" tonight and tomorrow morning she'd be crying, not wanting me to leave. I stand up and walk through the other rooms downstairs. I head upstairs and walk down the hall. I stop at their old bedroom door. I cock my head to the side and open it. No one had been in there since the day they died. I took a deep breath then walked in. I felt tears boil. It actually had the familiar aroma of my parents. The tears flowed and I fell to my knees. I gripped my sides and buried my head in the floor. I cried more than I cried when I found out they died. It finally sunk in. I stood and ran out of the room. I flew down the stairs, grabbed a coat, and tore through the front door. I needed a walk. I didn't care what time it was. I needed out of that house. The tears still poured down my face and I began to run. Running always cleared my head. I had to have ran for 20 minutes before I stopped crying. I turned and started walking back. I knew these streets by heart. My face was crisp with the March air and the tears drying on my face made it harden like they were freezing to my cheeks.

When I arrived at the house I wanted to leave again, but the fear of hypothermia stopped me. All I knew was that this night better pass, so I can hop on a plane and never see this house again.