A Table For One~Kagehina

Take Down The First Piece

Shouyou wasn't sure how much longer he could keep everything under wraps.

Everything was unfolding before everyone he knew and he didn't know how to stop it.

His mom was onto him. Even with all the final arrangements of finally getting custody of her son, she still noticed that something was off.

"Was it something else your father did? I swear I'll rip him to shreds-" she growled while interrogating Shouyou about his behavior.

"Das didn't do anything I'm just not feeling well," Shouyou responded, blinking his eyes unusually fast.

He knew he had a fairly obvious tell, but if he kept his head down (literally), he liked to believe no one would notice.

"Please tell me if something happens to you. You know I care about you more than anyone else in the universe."

"I know," Shouyou smiled up at his mom then made his way to his bedroom.

The room was still bare, a few boxes of books and clothes were on the floor. He had an actual bed set up in the room because he would often spend his time at his moms even before his dad kicked him out.

Shouyou's dad was never fond of him. Abd he made sure to let Shouyou know just that.

The way his voice boomed through the house when Shouyou's report cards came in, and the way he would barge into the boys room would always send shivers down Shouyou's spine.

Back in middle school, Shouyou's friend, Izumi, would often notice Shouyou's behavior and he made it his personal mission to give Shouyou pointers on how to remain calm in stressful situation when Shouyou may feel like he's out of control.

Somehow, they never really worked. Perhaps it was because Shouyou really was never in control of anything.

Not his life, not his grades, not even his own room.

So when that thirst for control continued to grow, Shouyou made every effort to grasp onto whatever he could and manipulate it however he wanted.

First, it was little things, like waking up insanely early in the morning and forcing himself to stay awake until late at night.

But then it grew into things like scratching his legs until they bled or at least hurt enough for Shouyou to calm down.

But then it changed into things people would actually notice.

He cut his hair a lot. He dyed it different colors but the orange always seemed to persevere. So he mainly focused on cutting it all over until it turned into a jumbled mess of orange clumps on top of his hair.

But that was never enough.

Until he saw food.

Kids at school likes to pick on everyone they saw, and Shouyou was no stranger to their antics.

They liked to make fun of his weight, calling him fatso or whatever slur would come to mind.

Shouyou wasn't even overweight, the kids just liked to create insecurities for their victims.

And it worked.

The way his control over the food made him feel. It was so real and raw.

When he felt his stomachs grumble it would only serve as a reminder of Shouyou's control, not to eat.

He finally had something that he succeeded in, even if no one else noticed.

Shouyou knew.

And Shouyou loved it.

Even if he knew deep down it was wrong.

He saw TV shows about these things. But he never really processed that they could be about him specifically.

So when people started raising eyebrows at Shouyou's weight loss, he knew he had to do something to change.

His peers saw his volnerability and took advantage of it.

She didn't really like the way he was treated at school.

Kids were too cruel.

So, Shouyou devised a plan. He would stop by a local café, grab a bite of something sweet but not too filling to eat, maybe even a coffee too, and eat that each day early in the morning.

He wouldn't have to tell his obvious lies about skipping breakfast, and he could walk off most of the calories on his way to school.

Whatever he didn't walk off, he would gain, but at least that would put his teachers at ease.

But then there was Tobio.

The only one whom Shouyou felt could actually see though him.

And it felt like he was stabbed with a knife.

Tobio liked to make sure Shouyou ate, and he didn't even know why.

The way their relationship formed was anything but normal as well... but it seemed perfect for thr two of them.

But there was still a large wall separating the two from happiness.

Too many secrets Shouyou knew he was hiding.

They way they all bibles up into the sky and fell like concrete onto the ever growing wall.

Shouyou knew he himself couldn't tear it down.

Not after all he's done to create it in the first place.

But he wondered if Tobio understood enough to take down the first peice.