[√]Lady of the White Rose

44: Breathe... And Live

VESPER

I woke up with such heavy heart. I feel horrible, terrible. Like, right now I'm 105% tired. But I'm trying to be strong and keep on going because there are a lot of people that will be sad once I'm gone.

Keep going. That's what I started telling myself when I began losing all hope. Keep going, V. Be strong, heart.

No matter how stuck you feel. No matter how bad things are right now. No matter how many days you've spent crying. No matter how hopeless and depressed you feel. No matter how many days you've spent wishing things were different. I promised you won't feel this way forever. Keep going, you'll die soon - kidding.

Nagising ako sa isang hindi pamilyar na silid. Lalo na sa ingay sa paligid ko. Binuksan ko ang isang mata ko upang tignan kung ano'ng nangyayari, since I heard familiar voices arguing. Dito pa talaga nila naisipan magtalo, kung saan may tahimik na nagpapahinga? Laka din ng loob.

"You don't understand, Rence!"

"Yes, you're right, I don't understand why you're still choosing her side despite what she did!"

"Matagal na 'yon! Hindi niya rin naman sinasadya! Lahat nagkakamali, Rence! Besides, she already apologize!"

"It wasn't enough! She doesn't even know how hurt you were that time!"

"Rence! Ano ba!" Nagulat ako nang biglang magpadyak ng paa si Ashley. Right, it's Ashley and that magician, they're arguing. And I feel like it's about me.

"Buo na ang desisyon ko, hindi mo na ako mapipigilan pa, Rence. This is the life I wanted and she's the one I wanted to offer my life, the one I wanted to protect!"

Napahilamos ng mukha si Rence, tila stress na stress sa buhay. "You're... You're crazy, Ashley. Why her?"

"It's exactly because of her that's why I'm doing this! Vesper is the only one that I'll give my oath and swear my loyalty to. No one else but her!"

Rence was left speechless dahil sa mga binitawang salit ni Ashley. Tinignan nito ang huli na para bang nababaliw na, hindi makapaniwala ang mga mata. Tila marami pa siyang gustong sabihin ngunit mas pinili na lamang niyang itikom ang bibig at manahimik.

Napabuntong hininga si Ashley at tumalikod dito, tsaka naman nagtagpo ang mga mata namin. Natigilan ito.

"Tuloy niyo lang 'yang usapan niyo. Kunwari, wala ako rito." Sarkastikong wika ko bago napangiwi. Ashley immediately run to my side and help me properly sits.

Sunod-sunod din ako nitong tinanong kung ayos lang daw ba ako, may masakit ba sa akin? Kumikirot ba ang sugat sa tagiliran ko? Nauuhaw ako? Nagugutom? Nahihilo?

Napilitan akong pakalmahin muna ito dahil nagsisimula na siyang mataranta. Hindi niya na alam kung ano ang uunahin.

"What happened to the assassins?" I ask after she calmed down. Nagtawag na rin ito ng maid upang magdala ng pagkain at tubig sa aking silid. Napansin ko ring hindi pa umaalis si Rence at nanatili sa isang gilid, tahimik na nagmamasid.

Ramdam ko ang talim at lamig ng pagkakatitig niya sa akin, tagos hanggang buto. Siguro, kung nakakamatay lang ang masamang titig ay kanina pa ako bumulagta rito.