Blue ➸ JiKook

[1]

Jimin

❝Have you ever took a blade to your wrists? Have you been skipping meals?❞ ―Bring Me The Horizon, Hospital For Souls

The steam was nearly suffocating as Jimin bathed himself in the torrid water falling diligently from the shower head. The droplets that fell at such a rapid rate dipped and slid over every crack and crevice on his body before hitting the flooring of the tub with a satisfying plop. Jimin attempted to disregard the empty feeling swimming at the bottom of his stomach; the feeling of everything all at once and nothing at all. He adverted his eyes from the parts of him he could do without, undertaking the task of halting his self-hatred. But it was just a never-ending cycle.

Jimin would skip meals somedays. Other days he just didn't eat whatsoever. He was so convinced his body was flawed and he was too fat and he'd never be good enough. He'd never be good enough for himself or anyone; especially Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook was the most youthful addition in the hip-hop group Jimin was a member of. Jungkook had beautiful raven black hair and chocolate brown eyes that indicated his strength as a person with every minuscule flicker of a glance laid upon the world. The boy had such a honeyed, sweet voice when singing that Jimin would often beg Jungkook to seduce him with the beautiful words that danced off the surface of his tongue. The boy could dance too; he was one of the best in their hip-hop group. So it's no wonder why Jimin had fallen head over heels for this boy.

But there was one obstruction. Jungkook was straight. In fact, all he talked about was the girl waiting for him when he finally made the long awaited journey to her house after a long and grueling practice. Jimin yearned to be her and to receive all of Jungkook's utterly young and fantastical love.

Jimin sighed and turned off the water, hesitating to step out of the shower for the dread of witnessing his body in the mirror. In his mind, he was fat. His cheeks were overly large and he couldn't get over the immense size of his thighs. He stepped out and looked at himself with disdain. He was feeling awfully obtuse today and his reflection did nothing to settle the anxiety planting its roots inside his heart.

He pinched at his thighs. Fat. He grabbed at his cheeks. Also fat. He grouped at his back. Still fucking fat. He was not going to allow the fat layers residing beneath his skin ruin him from being beautiful. And it especially was not going to ruin his opportunity to appear beautiful to Jungkook.

He took his towel and covered himself, partially to dry off and partially to hide the body parts he assigned the position of better off unseen. He walked through their dorm, careful to avoid any of the guys in case they saw his face and questioned why he appeared so tired and sullen. He walked into the room and gulped when he saw the younger boy sitting on the bed across from his own. He pondered why for a moment why Jungkook was even in the room, but he quickly dismissed those thoughts and mentally cursed himself for not considering taking the clothes he planned to wear into the bathroom with him. He attempted to avoid attracting Jungkook's attention, but he ultimately failed.

"Oh, hey Jim-" Jungkook stopped himself as his eyes laid upon Jimin's perfectly sculpted abs with droplets of water curving in and out of them. He gulped a bit and his cheeks were dusted with a light pastel pink. Jimin, being oblivious to the sudden fact that Jungkook was blushing at the sigh of his body, started pulling up his clothing underneath the towel that hug loosely around his hips. Jungkook shifted uncomfortably at the sight of Jimin, but some invisible force kept his eyes glued to Jimin's skin.

"I forgot to take my clothes with me into the bathroom, sorry." Jimin said with a stoic voice. He felt fat again. The younger boy's eyes seemed to be scanning him, picking out each one of his flaws. He attempted to take a deep breath and compose himself, but it just wasn't working. His heart was beating out of his chest from the sight of Jungkook and the emotions he was enduring at the moment made it hard to breathe and suddenly he understood why ribcages were called cages because his heart was a wild animal, desperate to escape its confinement.