Blue ➸ JiKook

[2]

Jungkook

❝There's nothing simple when it comes to you and I. Always something in this everchanging life.❞ ―Rise Against, Everchanging

"Have you been skipping meals?" The words departed from Jungkook's lips, but he didn't feel as if it was the voice belonging to him. He felt as if some other person was living inside of the confines of his bodily walls, forcing out each and every syllable of worry for his friend. As much as Jungkook was extremely worried, he found it best to not push Jimin with these sorts of ideas.

"I just skipped breakfast today because I wasn't hungry, Kookie. There's nothing to be concerned about." Jimin replied, attempting to make his lie so well constructed that Jungkook would have a difficult time trying to decipher it to discover the truth. Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows, but didn't create a statement and silently stood up. A thousand thoughts whirled throughout his brain; majority about Jimin and his mental health. If he skipped breakfast and lunch today, who knows what he might resort to in the future.

"Alright, well, I'm going to go eat pizza." Jungkook stated, turning and walking out the door. He cursed at himself silently for his words coming out more malicious than he intended. He was intended to help Jimin, not make him worse with actions and words laced with deadly poison. He sighed and grabbed a piece of pizza and sat with his hyungs, who were too occupied with arguing about which movie they should view to observe Jungkook's stressed and concerned state. Well, everyone except Namjoon.

It was a strange phenomenon, really, for Namjoon to be this close. While they were extremely great friends, they both were just closer to other members. So when Namjoon took the seat directly next to Jungkook, awkwardness attempted to follow. They both tried to shrug it off, but it settled over them like a cold blanket. "Are you okay? You seemed worried." Namjoon sounded, smashing the silence like it was thin glass.

"Well, that's because I am worried." Jungkook said, running his hand through his dark locks. Namjoon nodded, his hands unconsciously mimicking Jungkook's actions and running through his blonde hair. The roots were growing in again and Namjoon had to decide which color would be appropriate for BTS's image and exactly which color would suit his skin tone. He dismissed those thoughts and immediately reverted to what words he was going to let escape concerning Jimin's current state.

"It's Jimin, huh?" Namjoon questioned. Jungkook nodded his head, allowing his fear and concern for the older boy to shine through his darkly pigmented irises. "I'm worried too. He hasn't been eating as much and he always insists he's fat. He's honestly one of the most fit people I know. It's really unhealthy for him to fall into this mindset."

"Yeah," Jungkook said absentmindedly, pondering which encounters with Jimin he should allow to flee from the confinements of his skull. Should he bring up the whole girlfriend incident? Or shouldn't he? A tug-of-war was occurring inside of Jungkook's mind and the worst factor was that he wasn't exactly sure which decision would be the right one to make. He had no intention of embarrassing Jimin and making him feel belittled, and the release of such information might cause him to feel that way. The again, all Jungkook wants is to make sure his hyung is happy and healthy and you cannot exactly do that while holding onto a secret of how much he truly despises himself. Jungkook decided fuck it, and just went with the decision his body made.

"N-Namjoon," Jungkook started, his voice stuttering as his heart picked up speed like he was about to plunge to his death. "Can I tell you something?" Jungkook looked around to make sure no one's ear were keenly observing their conversation and leaned in and whispered, "But you have to keep it a secret. At least until the time is right." Namjoon nodded his head, silently agreeing to guard the secret practically with his life.

"So I was texting my girlfriend and all of a sudden Jimin asks me who I'm texting. As soon as I tell him, his eyes grow a little sullen but he remains with a smile on his face. All of a sudden he asks me to describe her," Jungkook took a breath and looked at Namjoon, who was keenly listening, and he decided to continued. "So I did. And then he asked about her weight. She's really short, so she doesn't with a lot. As soon as I told Jimin, he looked so goddamn sad. So I asked him if he'd been skipping meals and he outright denied it, even though I've seen him do it. Is that normal?"

"Definitely not." Namjoon stated, his words sharp like a dagger. They pierced Jungkook's heart, allowing pain to spray not only within his chest, but to his other extremities as well. Just being aware that Jimin was carrying an arduous issue on his back was enough to send pain shooting throughout his body. He couldn't lose his best friend to this. Jungkook was already convinced he was going to lose Jimin to this and he hadn't even seen the worst to come. Jungkook strived to not sob in front of all of his hyungs, but ultimately failed. A strangled noise emitted from Jungkook's throat and Namjoon wrapped his arms around him, doing his best to succeed at the tricky endeavor of comforting his dongsaeng. Even though Namjoon's hug was a tad bit comforting, Jungkook couldn't help but wish it was Jimin's warm arms wrapped around him instead.

"I just wish there was some way we could help him, y'know?" Jungkook began as soon as Namjoon released him from their hug. "It just hurts knowing your best friend is destroying themselves and all you can do at that exact moment in time is sit by and watch." Namjoon nodded his head, fully comprehending the connotation behind Jungkook's words. It must be so difficult for that kid to witness someone he considers his brother just self-destruct like that, Namjoon thought.

"It'll all turn out okay in the end, Kookie. Don't you worry." With those words, Namjoon patted Jungkook's shoulder firmly as a sigh of affection towards the younger boy and left the room. Jungkook did have the faintest idea of where Namjoon was journeying to, but he had a feeling it was to Jimin's room to discuss something with him as he turned down the hall that led to the room that housed Jimin. Jungkook established in his mind that he was going to follow, and follow he did. He was correct with his theory of Namjoon going to discuss something with Jimin since he was led directly to his dorm room. He sighed as soon as the cacophony of two voices yelling hit his ears and journeyed back to the living room, attempting to block out the stares from his bandmates.

He plopped down on the charcoal colored couch, hiding his face in his hands. The whole situation had burgeoned into something unpredictable and potentially dangerous, diverting from the actual intention Jungkook had in mind. His phone buzzed in the pocket of his dark skinny jeans, but he ignored it. It was most likely his girlfriend and he didn't feel obligated to text her back because, to him, it almost felt as if she was the root of all the problems that were currently prevalent. He was aware it wasn't right to gift her the blame, but he couldn't put a halt to those thoughts.

Jungkook was - thankfully - ripped away from his thoughts as a quiet looking Namjoon entered the room. Defeat was written all over his body; his shoulders were slumped, he was slouching, and he has this awful look on his face. Jungkook had never witnessed Namjoon in such a state and he felt as if he was being torn apart. He gasped for air, pain shooting throughout all of his limbs. Namjoon cast a solemn look his way, which somehow managed to be a large quantity of intense than the look that was glued to his face earlier. The emotion underneath his hyung's eyes put a sour taste in his mouth and he just wanted to throw up. It that moment Jungkook's thoughts led him to a sudden conclusion.

This is all my fault.