Blue ➸ JiKook

[23]

Jimin

❝Digging like you can bury something that cannot die. Or we could wash the dirt off our hands now, keep it from living underground.❞ ―Mt. Washington, Local Natives

Jimin nuzzled his way into the nape of Jungkook's neck, granting allowance for sleep to engulf his curled up form. He felt a pair of lips press against his forehead and a smile spread across his face, warmth discovering a well suited path to travel across in order to cause the feelings of love and adoration to take full effect. Arms pulled his body flush against Jungkook's and hands discovered the way into his hair, effectively creating a knotted mess. Jimin didn't mind this occurrence, however, and unveiled his mahogany pigmented eyes that were concealed behind his eyelids in order to take in the full view of his love. Noticing that Jungkook was quick to drown himself in the waves of sleep Jimin sat up and observed the room, attempting to note any abnormalities so that he could discover where exactly Jungkook was on his road to recovery.

Jimin pulled himself out of the blank sheets, being cautious in order to not awake the sleeping Jungkook. His feet guided him to the area where the desk resided against the white plaster wall and he analyzed it, observing each paper and fleck of dusk hoping that it could provide an accurate description of his lover's state of mind. Jimin's fingers reached out to grasp the handle of the drawer attached to the desk, attempting to open it without a single noise. This task proved to be very strenuous and Jimin's hands lost their discipline for a brief second, causing the desk to fly agape with a rather cacophonous noise. Jimin held his breath, reciting a silent prayer in his head that hoped the noise he had just created didn't wake Jungkook. Jungkook only stirred a bit; seemingly unaffected by the sound waves that had traveled through the air only a few seconds earlier. Jimin released the breath he was holding within the confines of his lungs and began his analyzation of the contents that the drawer possessed. Once Jimin concluded that there was only mountains of underdeveloped sheets of music and pencils lacking erasers that were accompanied by pens stripped of their ink he closed the drawer, being mindful to close it silently.

Jimin directed his path elsewhere, noting each and every poster that was placed upon the walls. There were posters depicting American indie band logos and hiphop artists which most likely belonged to Namjoon. Jimin allowed a smile to grace his features, shaking his head in amusement. They're such nerds, Jimin thought.

Jimin brushed his fingers up against the artificial wood that was formed into the shape of a dresser, debating whether or not to open it. He was convinced that Jungkook would appreciate Jimin rummaging through his underwear drawer, but it wasn't anything that Jimin had witnessed with his own two eyes beforehand. Jimin silently pulled the first drawer agape, allowing the inquisitorial side of him to win the tug of war he had been playing within his mind only a few minutes before. His hands pushed aside piles of boxers and t-shirts that were entirely arbitrary strewn about the inside of the drawer; his eyes attempting to discover the familiar glint of metal that would suggest Jungkook was nowhere even near recovery. He discovered nothing beneath the haphazardly placed clothes and urged himself to complete his investigation of the bottom panels of Jungkook's drawers, but he continued just in case the other drawers contained any evidence. He pushed through wrinkled clothes and items that belonged on hangers only to be met with no discoveries. Jimin released a sigh of relief, proud that Jungkook had held up for this long. But he halted that thought as the nightstand caught his eyes.

Jimin lightly journeyed over to the area adjacent to the bed where the nightstand happened to sit. Jimin grasped the handle, holding his breath within his cheeks as he opened it. The contents of the drawer primarily consisted of pens, journals, and paper  and Jimin nearly pushed the drawer back into the nightstand until the once familiar acquaintance of metal reflected the light from the window. M heart dropped as his fingers removed it from its hiding spot. He pressed the pernicious object into the palm of his hand, closing us fingers around it in case of the scenario of Jungkook awakening from his slumber. Jimin let his eyes roam over his boyfriend, pain erupting within his ribcage. How could someone so beautiful do something so... ugly?

Jimin walked briskly to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. His heart was pounding against his ribcage ― screaming the fear Jimin had experience for him. Jimin released his breath, anxiety from the situation he had applied himself in finally taking its toll. He removed the blade from the palm of his hands and buried it beneath the mountains and rolling hills of trash within the bin, praying that Jungkook wouldn't be able to discover the location of where it resided. Jimin stepped out of the bathroom and returned to the bedroom, crawling back into bed. He pressed a kiss to Jungkook's forehead; a kiss that revealed a certain sadness that Jimin had internalized from the predicament at hand.

I love you, Kookie. I hate to see you do this to yourself, Jimin thought before drifting off into sleep.