Blue ➸ JiKook

[26]

Jungkook

❝A false memory would be everything. A denial, my éliminent.❞ ―Take Me Somewhere Nice, Mogwai

Jungkook awoke without a modicum of Jimin lying adjacent to him.

The portion of the bed where the eldest had slept the former night was immaculately tucked in. Both of the pillows on the sector were fluffed and propped up at an impeccable angle. Jimin had removed every single item and article of clothing of his from the floor - not even a phone or a sock remained on the white carpet. Jungkook rotated his body onto his back and allowed his arms to be splayed about in wild directions above the duvet. He released a sigh from his trembling lips, his heart feeling as if it had been fashioned out of lead. He was fully aware of the possibilities of Jimin running off if a situation like this occurred, but he could not discover a way to halt the feelings of disappointment that were flooding his rib cage like a creek after a rather large thunderstorm.

Jungkook focused his eyes upon the ceiling, attempting to divert his attention to the flat white color rather than the urge to cry. Despite his attempts to disregard the buildup of emotions residing behind the floodgates that are his eyes, his lips began quivering and soon hot tears were traveling down the slopes of his cheeks. The quivering of his lips turned to him whimpering, which turned to cries which slowly increased in volume as he persisted his crying, which then transformed into full out wails that only a person experiencing true pain could ever release from their vocal chords. Jungkook clutched the duvet with such a fervor that he was sure his nails were mutilating the fabric, and he was kicking his legs like a small child throwing a tantrum. The wails that crawled out of his throat and into the air surrounding him soon escalated into screams, which alerted the entire house of boys in an instant.

Jungkook could apprehend the sound of multiple footsteps approaching the bedroom he was currently inhabiting, but he could not discover the strength within his mind in order to halt the emotions ripping throughout his flesh and bone. He perceived the sound of the rap of knuckles upon the bedroom door and the sound of it being opened, but he could not discover a way to cease the flailing of his limbs and the wailing noises escaping from his vocal folds. He sensed the weight of another human being placing themselves upon the duvet, but he could not detect who the addition happened to be for his sight was obstructed by the liquid escaping from his tear ducts.

"Hey, hey, I'm right here," A familiar voice comforted, but it was not who he had desired. The arms being wrapped around his aching body were not the arms he would have preferred to be comforting him like an ancient blanket. As much as he loved Yoongi, he loved him as his band-mate. As his friend. He could not sufficiently occupy the gaping hole that Jimin's absence had bore into his chest.

"What's wrong?" Yoongi asked, concern permeating throughout each syllable he spoke. Jungkook attempted to speak, but the only sound to leave his lips was animalistic wailing noises that vaguely mimicked language. Jungkook observed the pity percolate within Yoongi's eyes and he would give anything not to be existing in this woven fabric of time. He attempted to advert his eyes from the subject in front of him, but he was only met with the cold, stark ceiling and his feelings that made him want to sink into the duvet and never return.

"Is it Jimin again?" Yoongi asked, a form of malice coating his words. Jungkook winced, but he still nodded his head. At that response, Yoongi gripped Jungkook tighter than before and whispered sympathizing sentences into his ear, but the meaning to each word was absent to Jungkook. He could not consider or even think about anything besides Jimin.

I want to die, Jungkook thought. Please just let me die right now. I beg of you.

Yoongi released him, provided a sympathetic and pitying look, and exited the younger's room. He could hear yelling and angry, vulgar sentences directed at Jimin being shouted across the hallway, but he could not bring himself to move from his designated spot underneath the blankets atop his bed. Everything ached. Everything. The intense pain would not release his muscles, would not release his mind. All he wanted was for the sweet embrace of death to enraptures him, for death to welcome him with open arms into its realm.

And maybe he'd get his wish.

A/N: I am aware it's short, but I guarantee you there are bigger, greater, longer chapters on the way! And it's honestly so amazing to be back on WattPad and I missed all of you. I hope you've all been extremely happy and that life has been treating you kindly.