Blue ➸ JiKook

[24]

Jungkook

❝It's just a constant headache, a dead pet device. You hang me up, unfinished with the better part of me no longer mine.❞ ―Constant Headache, Joyce Manor

Jungkook rummaged through his drawer, searching frantically for the one item in his possession that could relieve him of his pain, even if the feeling of euphoria it provoked only lasted for a few meager seconds. When he couldn't discover the item he was so intent on finding, he sat back on his haunches and allowed his tears to fill to the brim of his eyes. He stared into the disarray that was now the contents of his drawer and released an exasperated sigh. How could he fuck up once again?

Jungkook stood from his position on the carpet flooring, his front teeth delving into the flesh of his lip in order to keep the tears that were already threatening to flow from escaping. He struggled to draw a breath into his lungs; his negative thoughts were smothering him - choking the air out of his lungs. Their doubt and fear-mongering were forming an entity that was solely focused on wrapping its dark hands around Jungkook's neck and tearing away whatever life was left within the confines of his body. Such an elegantly worded death, Jungkook thought. So pristine. So gruesomely gorgeous.

Amidst all of the pain racking throughout the young boy's body, a meager smile made its way across his facial features as he recalled how much he deserved the harrowing emotions that were occurring within him at that moment. Never was he so welcoming to his own mind desiring its own demise, but he chose not to give the idea a second thought. Self-inflicted agony was far too comfortable to question and defy. When it's all you know, what are you truly supposed to do? Jungkook released a laugh tainted with apathy at that thought; his tears drying as the choked sound strived to discover some path out his throat. He sounded so pathetic to himself. So deplorable. How could any one person take him seriously when his brain just regurgitated the same rhetoric most people feed their therapists in order to avoid the true reason they were in therapy to begin with? How calamitous.

Jungkook laid himself above the duvet on his bed, his crazed laugh still echoing throughout the room. "This room has terrible acoustics," He said to himself, the laughter still continuing. He wiped a singular tear from underneath his left eye and sucked a large breath into his lungs. That was fucking hilarious, he thought. I'm so pathetic it's comical as hell.

Just as his laughter had finally died down, Jimin had entered the room. Jungkook analyzed the older male for a moment, watching while the boy's eyes darted back and forth as if he was nervous, or concealing a secret he felt guilty about. Jimin was in the process of wringing his hands and clearing his throat when Jungkook rose an inquisitive eyebrow at his significant other's strange anxious fidgeting. Jimin's eyes darted over to Jungkook for a split second before returning to his hands, which were shaking at a violent rate. The boy cleared his throat once more before he spoke, his eyes focusing on the carpeted flooring.

"Jungkook, I think we need to have a discussion."

And Jungkook's heart fucking sank.

A/N:

That was short af and the next chapter will most definitely be longer, but I wanted to make an announcement stating that I'm back! That's right - I have returned to Wattpad. I will try as hard as I can to get as many chapters out as I can for you guys, since I know you've been waiting patiently since my hiatus. Also, how would you guys feel about me making an 8tracks playlist of all the songs I've used in this book? I hope you all have a wonderful week! I love you!!!!