Blue ➸ JiKook

[5]

Jimin

❝Well sad, small, sure and porcelain. You're skin and bones, I'm a nervous wreck. Well, I've got a bad feeling about this. I've got a bad feeling about this.❞ ―A Decade Under The Influence, Taking Back Sunday

It was a bit frightening to be aware that with every move you make, someone's watching you. They're watching how much you consume food-wise, how much water you drink, and how frequently you exercised. With his band-mates constantly observing him over his shoulder, Jimin had no choice to consume the food Seokjin had prepared night after night, only to later throw it up in the bathroom. They weren't aware of Jimin's newfound tool, but the acid burns around his index and middle finger were enough to prove the issue still resided deep within him.

The atmosphere had turned back to its original state and for that, Jimin was glad. The awkward silences that lingered in the spaces between sentences whenever they attempted to communicate with Jimin now were deemed non-existent. The relief of being able to breathe finally occurred within Jimin, causing the indefinite emptiness in him to feel as if it disappeared. But as the all disappeared from the similar are they were in, Jimin felt the hollowness start to carve out the feeling of being whole inside of him. And as he entered the bathroom, his fingers prepared for the task they had to accomplish, he felt the feeling grow. He pushed it aside; instead focusing on the mission he had undertaken.

He was so focused on just getting the fat out of him that he wasn't aware of the footsteps approaching near. As soon as the door was thrust open, he immediately scrambled to his feet and attempted to hid the mess that emerged from his insides. Seokjin stood before Jimin, his eyes containing a concoction of anger and worry. Seokjin was sure he knew what Jimin was doing and he couldn't stand it! How could Jimin just be selfishly, blindly destroying himself in before of everyone?

"Was this your plan, huh Jimin?" Seokjin asked, attempting to remain calm for the fear of spooking Jimin into refusing to relay information. "To eat and then throw it up when we're not looking? Did you honestly think that would work?"

"It's not what you think, hyung," Jimin started, conjuring an elaborate lie off of the top of his head. "I just haven't had food in so long, and especially not that much, so my body is rejecting it a little bit. I would never think to throw it up, especially since I actually want to get better for the sake of our fans and the members." Jimin threw on his best fake smile and actually, surprisingly, got away with it. Seokjin muttered something about that seeming fair and walked off, genuinely pleased with Jimin's answer.

Jimin peered at the mess he created in the porcelain and the flushed it, not wanting to observe for any longer than was needed. He washed his hands, making sure to avoid his face in the mirror, and journeyed to his room where he was greeted with a distraught looking Jungkook sitting on the edge of his bunk. As Jungkook sat there, tears running across his cheeks, Jimin wished he knew how to paint. While it was tragic to see their youngest member be so crestfallen, he appeared so young in front of the older boy. He looked almost like a child once more and Jimin wanted to cherish every ounce of youth he could recall with Jungkook.

"J-Jimin?" Jungkook croaked, his voice sore and dry from all of the crying. "C-Can I ask you something?" Jimin walked over and sat next to the boy, attempting to make this conversation a bit easier for the both of them. Jungkook's immediate response was to rest his head on Jimin's shoulder and only then did Jimin make the decision to respond.

"Of course you can, Kookie. What's the matter?"

"What do you do when you fall in love with someone you know you can't have?" Jungkook blurted out. At the melodic sound of those words falling out of Jungkook's mouth, Jimin's heart started its desperate attempt to escape its designated cage. His heart wanted to blindly lead him to believe that Jungkook's words were strung together to form a thought that was correlated with him, but he denied it as soon as his brain could even conjure up the idea.

"But aren't you and Amelia in love?" Jimin curiously questioned. It baffled him that Jungkook could fall in love with someone else while possessing such an amazing girlfriend. After all, hadn't they been deeply in love just a week ago? It seemed like such a short time frame to fall out of love. Didn't those take time to burn out like a steady burning fire?

"N-No. S-She broke up w-with me." At those words, Jimin's jaw dropped. How could she do such a thing to such a fragile guy like Kookie? The older boy wrapped his arms around the maknae, attempting to sooth the tears that flowed out even faster as he mentioned his ex-girlfriend. It pained him to see Jungkook so hurt and pitiful like this and all he wanted to do was discover away to transfer Jungkook's pain to himself. He couldn't stand to see the only person he ever loved looked so ripped apart.

"Do you know why?" He asked, attempting to tread lightly for the fear of triggering Jungkook.

"S-She b-broke up with me because she f-found out that I'm in love w-with you."

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A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a little bit. I've been going back and forth between people's houses and helping out my family a lot which resulted in me not being able to update. And I'm sorry this chapter is so short, I will try to make them longer in the future! Are there any suggestions? Anything you would like to see happen in the story? Also, I've been thinking about entering this book in the Wattys. Would that be a good idea or not?