As Long As I'm Here // Billie Eilish

Anxiety attack

TW!
This chapter contains a panic/anxiety attack.

After the show I decided to quickly go to the toilet before heading back to the green room. But when I came back to the green room Billie wasn't there. I see Maggie and Finneas collecting the last of Billie's stuff.

"Hi dear, Billie has already headed back to the hotel. She was a bit tired and didn't want the paparazzis to recognize her so she had to be fast. But you can go there if you want and say bye to her before you leave. Me and Finneas are going to stay here to clean up" Maggie says looking at me with her kind eyes.

"Oh okay, I see. I will go there and just say bye to her and tell her how amazing she was tonight before I head home"

"Yeah, I think she would appreciate that" Finneas says with a sigh.

I walk the 10 minute walk back to the hotel room I visited Billie in yesterday. It's already quite late but I really want to say bye to her and tell her how amazing she was before I head home. I love to walk in Stockholm when it's late, it's so beautiful when all the streetlights lights up the pitch black darkness. Although it can be dangerous being a lonely women at night in a big city.

I arrive to the hotel room and knocks on her door. Nobody's answering. Hmm, maybe she didn't hear me. I knock again. Still no answer. Is she asleep already? She could impossibly be already, she must have got here like 20 minutes ago or something. I knock one more time but still nothing. The door is unlocked so I decide to open it anyway.

"Hellooo??" I say loudly as I walk in.

Nobody's there.

"Billie??" I try again.

Still nothing.

Maybe she's getting some food or something I think to myself as I sit down on the couch to wait for her. Then I hear something, I think it's coming from the bathroom but I'm not sure. It kinda sounds like someone's panting?
I walk up to the bathroom door and the sound is definitely coming from in there. I knock.

"Finneas, go away!" The choked up voice from the other side of the door tells me.

Is she having an asthma attack?? I get nervous and knock again but when I don't receive an answer I open the door.
Billie sits on the floor with her knees up to her chin and her face buried in her arms. She is panting really heavily and her whole body is shaking.

"I told you to go away Finneas!!" She says again still panting.

"Billie??? Are you okay??" I say as I approach her.

She looks up at me shocked with light red colour all over her face.

"No... No, no, no. P-please go" she stutters between her breaths.

"I-I'm fine" she adds.

"What are you talking about Billie?! No, I'm not gonna leave! You are not fine, your whole body is literally shaking!" I say as I kneel down in front of her.

She looks up at me again and reach for my hand now hyperventilating. I take both of her hands in mine.

"Billie, you're having an anxiety attack. Everything's going to be fine. Billie, hey, look at me. You need to slow down your breathing before you faint"