As Long As I'm Here // Billie Eilish

A life changing christmas

When we both have changed clothes we walk out of Billie's bedroom in to the living room to wait for Finneas and Claudia. Maggie and Patrick fixes the last preparations for the dinner and Shark and Ruby lies beneath the fire place. We sit down on the couch in front of the fire place and looks at our sleeping dogs.

"Look at our babies" Billie says and smiles at them.

She rests her head against my shoulder and I rest mine against her head. We watch the fire crackling and the dogs heavy breathing. I feel so calm.

"I want you here" I say.

"I am here baby"

"But I want you closer" I say again.

"I don't know if you could get any closer without being under my skin" Billie jokes.

"Can I lay on you?"

"Yeah, come here" Billie says and lays us both down putting me on top of her.

Her boobs is the comfiest pillow I know. She plays with my hair and hums a soft melody. I close my eyes and try to take in the moment.

"This is the best christmas ever" I say.

"We haven't even started the celebrating yet baby" she tells me and giggles.

"I know, but I don't need no celebrating. I got you, and that's all I ever could ask for"

"You're gonna make me cry, stop it" Billie says.

"Softie" I mock her making her smile.

There's a knock on the door and Finneas and Claudia appears in the doorway. Shark and Ruby runs to greet them along with Billie's parents. We just lay where we are, to in love and caught up in the moment to move.

"Hey lovebirds, merry christmas!" Finneas shouts and comes to join us with Claudia on the couch.

"Make some room, we would like to fit on the couch too" Finneas says jokingly.

We sit up, me still in Billie's lap, making space for them to also sit on the couch.

"Are you excited for christmas?" Claudia asks.

"Yes!" We both answer simultaneously.

"I have a feeling this christmas is going to the history" Finneas says gaining a angry glance from Billie.

"Don't say one more word or I'll strangle you" Billie says.

"What are you talking about?" I laugh and ask them.

"Nothing" Billie says and smiles at me.

I shrug and let it go. Billie starts to fidget with her fingers and tics a little bit with her neck. She looks uncomfortable. Well obviously, it's hella uncomfortable to tic. I take her hands in mine and strokes my thumbs over her knuckles to try and calm her. She looks at me trying to give me a smile, her neck is still twitching.

"Does it hurt?" I ask her.

"Not that bad" she says but I can see that she's lying.

"Do you want a hug?"

She nods her head in response and I embrace her in a hug. Something we have discovered is that her tics tends to lessen when she's having physical contact with me. I don't know if it's like a comfort or feeling of safety thing or something, but it works.

3 hour later.

We have just finished the christmas dinner and everyone is feeling really satisfied from all the food.