Pain 2: Him (H.S)

Chapter 70

Alee's POV:

While I towel dry my hair behind the bathroom door, Zayn is impatiently waiting for me to be done on the other side. I don't want to tell him anything simply because I don't want him to tell me that he told me so. I'm prepared and expecting it from Alan, but I'm still in so much pain and don't have the heart to speak about it. I don't want to tell him what Liam did, I don't want to see the look in his eyes while I do, I don't want him to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay because I know it's not going to be.

I hang the wet towel on the rack, and slide the blue t-shirt Zayn gave me down my stomach and look in the mirror. I look like a zombie; tired, worn out, beaten, and damaged. I hate looking at the bruise. It makes me look weak and the longer I stare the more I hate myself.

I sigh at my reflection and step away to walk out, and as I open the door, Zayn stands and approaches me. His apartment is the complete opposite from Harry's. It's just a normal one with a simple kitchen and main room, nothing too extravagant but it's cozy.

"Jesus Christ..." He gasp at my bruise and I turn the other cheek. It's not like I can avoid the situation and it's not like he knows what's happening in my life to understand, but I hate playing victim.

I walk over to his black leather couch and flop down, keeping my eyes straight watching him quickly follow me from the corner of my eye, and I'm wondering what's going through his head. "I'm thirsty." I say and he walks over to the kitchen behind me and grabs a bottle of water.

I grab my phone and turn it on only to see that I have twelve missed calls and twenty unread messages from Harry. I'm not going to read it. I'm not in the mood to.

"Here you go," he hands me the water and settles beside me, "can you please tell me what happened before I lose my mind?" His demand is subtle but the impatience is evident. My eyes trail the tattoo's on his arm up to his chest until our eyes meet, and as I'm looking in to them I can see how worried he is. It's the same look Harry always has.

"Nothing happened," I shrug uncapping my water, "I was clumsy." The silence is lost in the sound of the rain but in my head I'm confessing.

"You know," he begins quietly, "I watched you grow up. It sounds disturbing because of how I feel but we grew up together. We practically spent everyday of our lives together even though we hated each other," he smiles and I do too, "I watch the most beautiful girl grow up to be happy, life-loving but lose her sight in the dark because of love. Alee, do you understand how hard it is for me to see you like this? And to cover it up from me when I'm genuinely concerned for you?" I lick the water off my lips and remain mute because I'm suddenly lost for words. I slowly shake my head and he pulls his brows together as if he has seen something unusual, and the hallow part below my chest twists into an ache. "it kills me." He confesses and my shoulders drop in guilt.

"I don't mean to hurt you or the people around me." I mutter swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Then let me help you. Please, I want to help you." His big, inked hand reaches for mine and with gentle motions, he holds it in his. "You don't have to be afraid anymore, I'm not like them. I won't hurt you."

All along I've been wanting an ear to listen and heart to feel with me and now I have it. I have it, but my own demon won't accept it. It's dawning his words and draining it from my ears to make it feel like it's all some trick. "You won't understand."

"Let me try to."

"It's hard."

"I'll help you." He encourages squeezing my hand, "Alee, talk to me."

Despite that demon, this is the first time I don't hear Harry's voice in my head. It's as if my body has been preparing for the end since it had begun. "I was alone last night..."