Pain 2: Him (H.S)

Chapter 51

The rain has found its exhaustion and has left allowing the clear skies and clouds to form above the sun, and Harry has collected himself with equanimity. It's very quiet, not only in the apartment, but outside as well. It's peaceful in a way and the only noises are cars passing from down the road and birds conversing through chirps. He hasn't talked much since we finished showering but I'm kind of glad of it. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say to him because I already know what's going to happen next. I'm trying hard not to allow the rotten image of Harry hitting Niall upset me, but obviously he feels no remorse. It's as if nothing has happened.

This is a side of him I don't think I've ever seen before.

"Do you want more?" Half of the food in the fridge is on the floor because we've been gone for so long that the meal we made before we left has rotted and molded. When I opened it, it smelled so nauseating I almost threw up.

"Yeah, please." I uncross my legs and stand as my bones adjusts to my movement, and I grab his plate to put more chicken. I think leaving him with his thoughts uninterrupted will be good for him. Maybe that'll make him think more clearly instead of acting out of impulse which I'm one hundred percent positive he did when he acted out against Niall.

"There's plenty left, so tell me if you want more." I say walking back to the fridge. He nods and begins to eat just as the sun slides it's way from under the clouds and into the clear, illuminating through the kitchen and living room windows in awe.

I triple bagged the old food and put it in the freezer so that it won't stink even more until trash day, and I have wiped down the shelves and rearranged everything neatly. My O.C.D is hitting hard than it usually does so I've assorted and ordered everything by color and jar size. Harry laughed at me a few times teasing me about how I would be a perfect maid because of how tidy I am, but I guess I'm doing the extra work to help distract me--it's not working though...at all.

I didn't feel like wearing much clothing so I found Harry's Rolling Stone's shirt he gave me and a pair his boxers. I knew I forgot it here and I have to remember to take it with me before I leave.

I've finished cleaning the refrigerator and now everything is spic and span just how I want it to be. I'm uncertain on how the rest of the day is going to turn out, but judging by Harry's blank stare and subdue appearance we won't be doing anything, which is good because I don't want him to leave me alone.

A really weird thing happened today. While I was cleaning Harry in the shower, I attempted to wipe some of the blood off his cross but he flipped the pendant around to his back. I'm not sure what that means or what he was trying to indicate by doing that, but he has never done that before. Is that some sort of sin? Are you not supposed to do that? It didn't seem right and I'm not sure what to think of it. I want to ask him about it but it should be the least of my worries right now.

"Are you feeling okay?" I lean against the counter and twirl my ring around, being extremely cautious with my voice so that I don't set him off. Is it normal to be this quiet and calm after something so serious? In the shower he kept hugging me and telling me that he loves me and couldn't keep his mouth closed, but now, he barely opens his mouth to breathe.

"Do I look okay?" He asks impassively.

I shrug, crossing my arms and looking out the window to the city view to let the slight tension dissolve, and wait for something to be said. It's so nice out. I love the Spring weather and can only imagine how beautiful summers going to be.

In the wake of the silence and my admiration of the world outside, Harry suddenly slaps his plate off the table and the black clay clashes against the ground in a violent collide. I flinch and stand on my toes to avoid the broken glass as he stands and kicks the chair behind him. His cross swings from behind his back over to his chest while he tugs on his hair, and after a slight pause, he slaps the glass off the table and it flies hitting the refrigerator door. "What are you doing!?" I shield myself from his unforeseen actions while he begins to pace. I'm confused and afraid by how he's acting because he looks so out of it.