Pain 2: Him (H.S)

Chapter 73

Previously on Pain:

"Not everyone is lucky enough to fall in love in one lifetime," Harry speaks weakly facing the door and I halt to listen, "and not everyone is lucky enough to be....happy, or granted happiness by whatever God they believe in, but I've had both and I've lost both. But I'm not going to fight you," he turns and I can't get myself to stop my tears. I can't fight back how strong this feeling is, "I'm not going to fight you anymore because I don't deserve you. You've had enough and now I get that. I now understand what I've done to you and how badly I've treated you. I understand it now."

I was ready to fight him. I was ready to tell him what he couldn't comprehend, or what I thought he couldn't comprehend, I had everything planned out in my head like a script, every word, every comeback, every insult; I had it all but now it has vanished. It has escaped my mind and I'm actually left speechless. I don't know what to tell him or what to say. How do I fight back? How do I respond to that? How do I let go without having second thoughts?

"I don't expect you to say anything because I know you have nothing to say and that's okay," he forces a smile, "it's okay," he murmurs and my chest tightens in a twist, "you deserve the world, Aleevonne. You deserve better. You deserve everything I'm not and I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for." He smiles, his eyes lighting up for the first time in what seems like weeks, and all my tears crash and fall from my eyes. He turns and opens the door, not even wincing at how strong the sun rays are, and reaches for his keys, "I can't explain what I did to Niall except for the fact that I did it to save you," he pauses then turns to look at me, his eyes bright green and skin pale, "but I never knew it was going to end up killing me." He chokes clenching his jaw as his eyes flood in tears, and shuts the door behind him.

~~~

New Character: Aiden-Paul Wesley

I lost myself for a few days. Not spiritually but emotionally. After Harry left I sort of put myself in a trance and took the blame for everything because of the way I left it. I didn't drown in despair or depression like last time, I just cried. For a few days, I let the bad memories devolve so that I could be left with only the good ones, and the self-rehabilitation did the job for me.

Three weeks would seem like one hell of a timeless torture, but I've learned to forgive and forget. Nothing has changed though. The grass isn't greener, the sun isn't brighter; all's the same. Everything is exactly the same way it was before and nothing shifted or altered because of the break up. The air is the same, the people are the same, and I've remained the same--just a little less tense. I guess.

But I haven't seen him since that day. He hasn't been to school or even contacted Conor and Harley, he just up and left. I never took the time to stop by his house or the apartment either to see how he was simply because I didn't want to fiddle with my decision. I didn't want to see him to trick my heart in any way. But that didn't stop me from trying to contact him. I knew I didn't want to see him but hearing his voice and him hearing mine was what I wanted. Stupid, I know. I tried but received nothing. I called and called....and called, but he never responded and I don't blame him. I let him leave without trying to make it better so answering my calls would've been like answering the devil after selling your soul to him.

It's better this way.

During my twenty-some day self-healing remedy, I came clean to Alan and my mom. I sat them down and explained everything from the first day we met up until the breakup. The apartment, Louis breaking into the house, Liam almost killing me, the Florida trip we sent them on, the threatening letters; all of it. Alan teared through some of it, mom sobbed like a pregnant woman, but in the end they saved me. They helped me and assured my safety was going to be their priority. They yelled at few of my confessions, calling me stupid and mindless for allowing all of this to happen and they were angry that I never told them.