𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙤𝙡𝙤 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨

im tired - chris

hi! so after reading all of your kind words on
the chapter where i showed messages i was receiving,
and reading the sweet messages you guys have sent me, i decided that i will not be taking a break from
wattpad, im not gonna let a few messages from negative people distract me from the fact that so many
of you love this book and appreciate what i do. so from the bottom of my heart, i genuinely appreciate you all. i love you so much.

* TW FOR THIS IMAGINE *

mentions of a suicide attempt, pills, s*lf h*rm (will not go into description or write about it occurring, just the aftermath)

** IF THIS TYPE OF STUFF MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, PLEASE DO NOT READ AND SKIP. **

i wasn't gonna plan on ever writing an imagine like
this, but i decided that i would, the messages i got inspired me to write this, to show that your words to effect people and they can hurt people. i love you all so much and if you EVER, and i mean EVER feel like this, my messages are ALWAYS ALWAYS open.

y/n's POV
i woke up and was immediately blinded by bright lights. i covered my eyes, sitting up and rubbing them, before looking around. i was in a hospital room. my mom saw me awake and sat up, "you're awake," she smiled, coming over to me. "i called chris, he's on his way." she said. "what do you mean on his way? he's in LA," i said. "y/n he's so worried about you, the second i told him he immediately bought him and his brothers a plane ticket back here. he needs to see that you're okay," she told me.

"im not okay mom, i tried to take my own life last night, and i couldn't even do it right," i sighed, looking down. "and that's something we need to talk about, honey, im not happy with what you did, but i'm worried about you," she said. "don't be, im fine. i don't want anyone's pity," i said, lying back down. "y/n, we need to talk about what you're going through," "no we don't, i don't wanna talk to anyone about it," i said, tearing up. "i just wanted it to work, mom, i can't stand being here another minute," i started crying.

"honey..." my mom hugged me, and there was a knock on the door. "i'll be right back," she said, pulling away and going to answer the door. "oh thank fucking god," i heard. i looked up and it was chris, along with matt and nick. he basically ran over to me, pulling me into the tightest hug he's ever given me. "don't ever do that to me again, i love you so much y/n," he mumbled into my hair. "i'll give you guys a few minutes," i heard my mom say, before hearing the door open and close again. after a few minutes chris pulled away, and when he saw i was still crying, he pulled me right back into him.

"talk to us baby, what's going on?" he whispered, rubbing my back. "i'm so tired, chris," i cried. "i'm so tired of acting like i'm fine and putting on an act for social media, when i'm not. when i'm constantly getting told everyday to kill myself, that i'm worthless, that no one likes me, i'm so fucking tired of it chris," at this point i was sobbing, and chris was holding onto me as if i'd disappear if he let go. "and my mom makes it worse, i can't tell her i'm struggling because she'll make excuses for everyone instead of listening to me, and she constantly compares me to my siblings, it's like nothing i do is good enough for anyone," i cried into his shoulder.

"i literally tried taking my own life, i tried cutting myself and tried taking too many pills and that didn't even work out right, i can't do anything right," i kept crying. "i got you baby, i got you, you're okay, i'm right here, you're safe with me baby.. no one's gonna hurt you with me right here," he whispered into my ear every so often, giving me time to calm down before he actually talked to me. he pulled away and grabbed one of the hospital chairs, pulling it right next to the bed and sitting down, holding onto my hands.

"listen to me, baby. none of those things anyone says are true. they're just unhappy with themselves so they're trying to take you down with them. me, nick and matt are always right here to listen to you, when you feel like this, okay? don't stress yourself out over something that won't even matter next month, okay? i'm so proud of you baby and everything i've seen you do, and i love you, so so much. it breaks my heart to see you like this, when your mom called me and told me i thought i lost you forever, i immediately booked plane tickets and told matt and nick to pack a bag and we came straight here. i was so worried until i stepped foot in this room and saw you awake, baby, i love you, matt loves you, nick loves you, there are so many people who love you baby, i don't like seeing you let people who don't even matter get to you," he said, and i wiped my eyes looking at him.

"yeah y/n, we're your best friends, we love you and care about you so much, we don't ever wanna see you in this kind of position, i don't know what i'd do if i lost my best friend," matt said, walking over and pulling me into a hug. "i'm sorry," i cried into his shoulder. "no no baby, you don't have to be sorry," chris said, now rubbing my back, and matt held onto me tighter, and i felt another hand on my shoulder, and i knew it was nick. "we love you so much y/n, we're always here for you. we care about you so so much," nick told me. i pulled away from them and wiped my eyes.

"can you lay with me?" i mumbled, looking at chris. "of course baby," he said, and i moved over on the bed, and he climbed in with me, and i immediately got myself situated and laid myself on top of him, shoving my face into the crook of his neck. he wrapped his arms around me and held onto me as if his life depended on it. i closed my eyes, trying to fall back asleep, when i heard the door open. "is she okay?" i heard my mom ask. "she will be," nick said. "i wanna take her back to LA with us, if that's okay with you," i heard chris say. "i need her with me and i need to know she's okay," he added on. "if she's okay with it, i guess i am too," my mom said.

a/n!

if any of you ever feel like this please reach out to someone. you can always always always reach out to me. please remember to always treat everyone with kindness, you never know what anyone is going through. i love you all so much and you all deserve the world. i'm so proud of all of you, you all deserve the world <3.

thank you so much also for the love the last few days, i love you all so much and appreciate you so much. this is also me saying that i will be staying on wattpad :). i won't be taking a break anymore, so you guys can continue to message me requests again and ideas you wanna see ! i love you all so much thank you for everything. <3