on the edge // hyunlix

25 ; finale - ending one

It's been months, but it's still a classical, distinctive déjà vu – being somewhere high.

He never thought he'd be back here again.

It could be three steps, it could be two.

Or maybe it could even be one before he falls off the edge with a strict sensation of worthless adrenaline rushing through him.

And it was inevitable that it was the sensation of trying so hard to die.

Can he really do it after such a long time?

Will he really dare to?

Maybe... maybe not...

He can't do anything to help but sit on the edge and think about it.

Then again... It's relieving.

—

Hyunjin's sure.

Today – the exact day.

He just wants to confess his feelings to Felix. They've been close ever since, and they keep getting closer without submitting to being anything more than friends.

Nothing can help the smile plastered on his face as he's thinking about the blonde, holding the bouquet of roses and carnations.

Hyunjin's just slightly doubtful if the younger will happen to accept his love without hesitation.

Ah, but first – Hyunjin will probably have to try and find Felix;

It just happened that he's not answering his phone and isn't in his own apartment.

Definitely, he's not with Minho and Jisung as they're out on a date, and it's certain Felix wouldn't want to become a third wheel as much as he enjoys their presence.

Then Jeongin will be a good idea to call.

"Jeongin!" Hyunjin exclaimed lightly.

"Hey, Hyung. What do you need?" Jeongin inquired, wondering about why Hyunjin decided to call him.

"Is Felix with you?" Hyunjin questioned, pressing his lips together in hope.

"No. He isn't. Why?" Jeongin hummed, lingering more confusion and worry.

"Oh. I want to tell- no, I want to confess to him. I just don't know where he is." Hyunjin mumbled, hesitating gently as to what to say.

"Can I help look for him with you, then?" Jeongin uttered, somewhat dressed up already, not even hearing what Hyunjin had to say to that.

"Yeah, I'll pick you up." Hyunjin agreed, nodding even though Jeongin couldn't see it.

—

The two greeted eachother whilst Jeongin entered the car, Hyunjin quickly placing the flowers in the backseat.

"Confess, you say?"

"Yeah – we're pretty close, and I can't help feeling affectionate towards him... Don't want to keep my feelings stifled." Hyunjin smiled, nodding his head.

"Alright, that's sweet." Jeongin chuckled, putting his hands over his mouth as he elicited a grin.

"You're similar to Felix, you know." Hyunjin uttered, finally starting up the car.

"Ah, really? I didn't notice." Jeongin inquired, "Nevermind all this. Do you know where to look for him – I'm still too worried about him even though he's safe with you."

"Yeah, I have a guess." Hyunjin sighed, liking that Jeongin trusts him with his cousin.

—

He's impossible, really.

Why does he still want to suppress his life like this?

Everyone cares about him, and he knows. He knows they care for him and want him to stop.

And- he's promised. He's promised to Hyunjin;

He's really promised this time, too.

But then again, some promises can't stay put all the time. This promise should, though, but it isn't.

It's no one's fault. No one's but Jae-Hyo's, right?

The first time was brutal, the start was brutal. The backstory was brutal, stupid, unwanted.

It has really just started off with Felix dating Jae-Hyo's cousin. Then it turned out that when they broke up, he wasn't over Felix;

He didn't want to leave Felix. He wanted Felix to remember him by something – or someone rather.

He's just told Jae-Hyo to simply push Felix to his limit, to the edge. And he did.

Jae-Hyo went far more further than that for his own entertainment purposes.

And was it fun? No, certainly not. What part off this whole suicidal thing seems fun? To Jae-Hyo, it's only a fun little stage play.

Now, Felix is willing to do all of this for himself.

—

"You can stay here, if you want. I'll leave the doors unlocked." Hyunjin spoke, getting out and grabbing the bouquet that consisted of roses and carnations.

"I'll come a bit after you." Jeongin hummed, scrolling through his phone as Hyunjin nodded and left.

He's certain Felix is here. Well, where else could he possibly be?

Ah, and he was.

"Felix!" Hyunjin quickly exclaimed with a smile.

Uh, wrong move?

Felix flinched and stepped back, whimpering just slightly as he fell. Sweet... the last thing he saw was Hyunjin running up to him with a bright bouquet and that hurt.

They really didn't have any time to confess their admiration to one another.

Hyunjin stopped abruptly, tears making their way down his porcelain face, staining it as he stood still with his mouth slightly agape.

Jeongin also saw it, he ran up to Hyunjin who made his way to the edge, collapsing onto his knees and holding the bouquet as if it'll run away from him;

The thorns pierced his palms as they tore through the fabric encaging the flowers.

"...What happened?" Minho quietly asked, kneeling down next to Hyunjin as Jisung took Jeongin away, blinking continuously to not lose his composure and break down too.

"Minho, I- I lost him." Hyunjin sobbed as Minho tried to tear his hands away from the thorny bouquet, "I didn't have any time to tell him I love him..."

"Let go of the bouquet, Hyunjin, you're hurting yourself." Minho gently whispered.

Hyunjin shook his head vigorously, pressing the bouquet against his chest before tracing his fingers on the rings.

The rings, the last thing he has in memory of his Felix...