faded

71. resent

It had been a week since the wedding. A week since his return, since the wedding, since the last conversation about Elena.

Anastasia was sleeping calmly in the bedroom while he looked through an old family photo book. He would never admit to anyone that he had it and could never bring himself to share it's contents.

It was very early in the morning, still dark as the night bled into dawn. It had rained most of the night, Zayn had opened the windows when it ceased and the comforting smell of petrichor invaded the bedroom. It had been one of the calmest evenings they had spent together.

The couple had met up earlier in the day with his mother. She had prepared a large breakfast for them and they sat together after talking about nothing in particular. Stefani had been excited about her upcoming trip with her husband and she wanted to see them before she took off. Anastasia felt uneasy the whole morning, despite her best efforts to make nothing of the bad feeling she had.

She wasn't sure if it was her in laws traveling, her own conflicting emotions, or something else that loomed in the horizon. Though she did not want to dwell on the bad feeling too long, it didn't go away, even as she drifted off to sleep.

Things had been relatively calm, aside from when Zayn would lock himself in the study, yelling at whoever he was on the phone with. Anastasia stayed out of his way, choosing to keep herself occupied with anything else except Zayn. He seemed too busy to notice during the day, but at night he was harder to avoid.

With every turn of the page, Zayn felt himself getting further and further away from who he used to be. He was beyond redemption. There wasn't anything he could do in this world to make up for all the trouble he had caused. Most of the time he tried not to think about it too much. What was done was done. What could he possibly do to atone for his errors? What could be done to repair the lives he broke in the process? These were questions he so desperately wished he had an answer to. It was useless to keep dwelling on it, he knew he couldn't do anything to go really fix it.

He thought about Elena and how soon she would be no longer. He had to do it, close that chapter in his life. Since her request, the conversation wasn't brought up again.

He decided to focus on the things within his reach that he could fix. His marriage, his relationship with his family. He was done making stupid mistakes- especially when it came to Anastasia.

Flipping through a few more of the pages, he began to feel a deep sense of nostalgia. A lot of things he thought he had forgotten came to the surface, allowing him to revel in the moment. At a certain point, he had convinced himself that he had no regrets about anything. Looking then at a picture of his father felt like looking deep into a mirror. The same familiar, cold expression. A large smile plastered on his face with an absence of light in his eyes. There is nothing looking back except the very image of who he promised to never become.

His eyes went from the photo album to Anastasia, who still slept soundly. 

Or so he liked to think.

He didnt know anything about her nightmares or how she felt that everyday was her last day on earth. The intense sadness that invaded her every moment and the confusion with his every word. 

Harry had returned to his parents house, surprised to see everything as it always was. For a while he had been worried that Zayn had done something, but he was fortunately wrong. His confusion only grew further when Zayn did not come after him, Harry had been expecting it for the last 2 months. Radio silence. He didn't even know what had happened to them. It was as if the earth had swallowed them whole. He knew that Zayn wasn't the type to hide. If anything, he was always the type to go looking for trouble before it found him. Too many possibilities and not enough information. 

He was thinking of Anastasia, too. No doubt, she had found out about his bad intentions when he took her to Germany. As much as he wanted to believe that he had good intentions- that wasn't entirely true. With everything that had occurred, Harry didn't know what to think. He knew he wasn't a good person, no matter how easy it was to believe his own lies. It didn't make him any better than Zayn, though he liked to believe that he wasn't as cruel. He still worried for her and hoped that he would find her in a better state than he had seen her last. 

Amy walked into the room, a solemn expression on her face. She set the groceries down on the kitchen table.

"Anything?"

She shook her head no. "Unfortunately not. I think we need to come up with a plan."

He sighed, "I don't even know what to do."

It was true. He didnt have not the slightest idea of what was really going on. No matter how much he hated Zayn, he was the only constant in his life. Their problems begun way before all this. Zayn always reminded him he had the upper hand, maybe he always would.

"We need to find a way to lure Anastasia here," she says coldly.

"You're still not over him, are you?" I scoffed.

What was it that women saw in Zayn? Harry always wondered. When the novelty wore off, he was an asshole. He knew exactly how to push your buttons, but also knew how to make you feel like he was genuinely on your side. For years, they had been friends. Torn apart by a woman who Harry realized played both of them.

Amy remained silent, but Harry didn't need an answer to his question, he already knew. He could tell she was very upset about the way things had turned out.

"You're still fixated on her, aren't you? Fuck off."

Harry let out a chuckle, "what's up with you?"

"I'm just frustrated at the way things have continued to go."

She sat at the kitchen table, running her fingers through her hair. She released an exasperated sigh, clearly bothered by something.

"Anastasia's mother... I can't help but think we can use that to our advantage. We know where she is...

I have a plan but I don't have all the details yet."

"I don't even know if I wanna do this," He confessed. "Why do you suddenly hate her? Because she went with him? Not like she had much of a choice."

Amy rolled her eyes. "So you're just gonna let him win?"

Harry scoffed, "no, I'm going to do what I was doing before I got all involved in this."

"Which is what? Selling weed for petty cash?" She slammed her hands down on the table, "wake up, Harry."

The man had seen her angry plenty of times before, in a way she was the closest person to him. Despite this- he saw something in her eyes that he hadn't before. Desperation.

"I don't know what exactly you think is going to happen. If whatever you have planned doesn't work, then what? Back to square one."

Amy's face was full of bewilderment. "What are you gonna do then?"

"I don't know."

"Well we need to do something, I need to do something. I can't live like this."

The phone began to ring, a very strange occurrence considering no one knew anyone was staying there.

Amy raised a brow, "Well?"

Harry begrudgingly got up from the table. He took the old telephone a bit too aggressively, as if he was being forced to speak to a family member he despised.

"Hello?"

"How did I know you'd be there?" The familiar voice responded, "I'm sure you're surprised to hear from me."

Harry realized immediately who it was. The nonchalance in his tone made his blood boil. "What do you want?"

Zayn remained silent for a couple of moments, but Harry could hear the exhale of what no doubt was cigarette smoke.

"I want you to disappear somewhere with Elena, that's what you wanted right?"

"Who is it?" Amy asked quietly.

"Someone from work," he simply responded.