faded

57.0 - shes the past

*flashback- 4 yrs ago*

It had been too long since the last time I had been here. It looked different but always felt the same, it filled me with nerves. It brough back memories of my father and what our life was like before he left us, its a memory I struggle to erase.

So much had happened. Things changed. I had riches but had lost the woman of my dreams chasing money. I had lost any hope I had. Whatever I thought I could be, whatever she wanted me to become, had just faded away. There was no more redemption. No hope. I was broken and I'd always be broken.

I had done a lot of things that hurt my mother. But I hoped coming to see her would help put some peace in my life.

I opened the door and peeked inside, the warm smell of coffee and flowers immediately greeting me. It brought back memories.

She reminded me of my mother. They could make anywhere feel like home.

"Zayn!" My mother's cheerful voice greeted and she ran over to hug me.

Her tiny frame held me tight and she seemed so happy to see me, it made all the emotions I was desperately trying to conceal swim to the surface. I found myself crying in my mother's arms, broken at the realization that nothing would ever be the same.

"Whats wrong?" she cooed, taking my hands and taking me over to the couch.

I shook my head and looked away from her. "She's gone," I answered softly, "I ruined everything."

My mother looked at me with concern. "Oh, son. What happened?"

"I told her I couldn't keep putting her in danger. I can't take her to New York and expect for her to just wait for me. She needs a chance to live her life and she took it."

"Zayn..."

I interjected. "She's so perfect. She loves me for real. She knows me. I kept hurting her."

Her voice softens and she wraps an arm around me, rubbing my back soothingly. "Maybe once you get settled in, you can talk things out with her."

"No, Elena needs to live without being afraid. She's got so much to live for."

"If she ever came back, would you take her back?"

I frowned at the question. "Of course. I'd drop everything for her."

"Just be patient, sweetheart, maybe she'll change her mind one day."