faded

21.0 - two truths & one lie

"I feel so alone," I whispered to myself as I picked at the food in front of me with my fork.

The employees in the house were in the kitchen and I had decided to eat upstairs. The conversation with Zayn had left me shook up, my appetite was nonexistent.

After I managed to take a shower, I tried watching TV. No matter what I tried to focus on, my attention thoughts always went back to Zayn.

I hoped he'd call me on the house phone, but I knew it wasn't happening. I was so lonely. I just wanted to talk to someone or have a friend to be with. I knew I couldn't call Liam for several reasons, if Zayn found out about it he'd probably get upset. I was just finding it extremely hard to be all alone when I was in pain and I felt so abandoned. I didn't have any friends and even if I did, calling them wasn't an option.

I wish I wasn't here. I wish I wasn't stuck in this house all alone without someone to talk to. I knew that I had made my choices and that the situation I was dealing with was karma.

What could Harry want with me? He always struck me as very strange, secretive maybe. That night made no sense to me. Thinking back on it now, it even seems hazy. It's hard for me to recall what I did last week, even more difficult to recall what happened a year ago with him. I wish I could ask Zayn, but currently that isn't a good idea. I could only remember the bad things, though I found the memories of my past trauma harder to recall.

I heard a knock at my door and jumped slightly at the sound. I wiped my wet eyes and put on my best façade.

"Come in," I said.

The girl from earlier opened the door, a phone in her hand and a few pills in the other.

"Mr. Malik would like to speak to you," she handed me the unknown cellphone and set my pills down. "I will be downstairs if you need anything, miss."

"Thank you," I whispered, putting the phone to my ear. She left and I finally felt comfortable talking to him. "Hey."

"Hey, how are things at the house?" He seemed to be in a better mood but I felt off.

"I'm okay, going to take my pills in a little bit. I think I won't need them anymore in a few days, I'm starting to feel a lot better."

He was quiet. "Maybe when you come get me in a few days, I'll be alert and we can be okay again."

I know I sounded desperate, it disgusted me to an extent. But I was so lonely.

"I'm not gonna go get you yet, baby, let's not get ahead of ourselves. The pills are good for you."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna go get you until next week, just so I can be sure everything is okay and safe... I've been, uh, thinking. About that night with Harry."

I'm caught off guard. Was it my chance to ask him what had happened? I felt like I was against the wall. "What about it?"

"Do you remember any details from it?"

I decide to test him to see where this is going. I get the feeling that he's hiding something from me by the way he's talking to me, like I'm a young child who doesn't quite understand his adult speak. The way he said it... That night with Harry.

"No," I lied. "I've been trying to remember but I can't. Can you tell me?"

"You don't remember anything?" He sounded shocked but content, Zayn probably thought I wouldn't catch on, but I knew him too well.

"You slept with Harry, remember? That's why you left..."

That is not what happened. I bit my lip to try and conceal my emotions threatening to spill out.

"I did?" I choke out.

"Yes, Ana, and I forgave you. I just think maybe you should know the truth. I walked in on you and Harry. I think he's after you because I tried to kill him."

This was all wrong.

So so fucking wrong.

"I know it's hard to remember baby, but it's the truth."

"How could I do that?" I ask.

Zayn is a monster. I have no words to describe the wave of fear going through me, but he seems so unaffected by the lies and story he's fabricated.

"You both were drugged. Harry was framed, apparently. But you know that's not true. Just ask Liam."

Liam.

I had trusted him.