faded

30.0 - baby came home

TRAILER 1 : https://youtu.be/gwad8U_BMTw

TRAILER 2 : https://youtu.be/qtpt5JRQdPs

We had made it to Berlin after plenty of flights and plenty of sleep. I was confused with the time difference- my legs felt uncomfortable and my body restless, that alone making it hard for me to try to relax. Everything was so different here, though we had encountered things that reminded us of home. With Harry's hand in mine we sat on the balcony of a hotel near the place he had here, one that overlooked everything. We had to wait a few days for the apartment to be furnished, but I liked how this felt so casual. Decorating the open space were flowers upon flowers, in shades of pink, red, and white. It was cold and windy, but I didn't even care as we smoked cigarettes in silence. Under us the city moved, the busy streets and people all trying to arrive on time.

I noticed he was being quiet, but I blamed it on his exhaustion. I knew he was tired and anxious because of Zayn. I still couldn't believe he showed up. It was too late either way. The days of me being the stupid girl were no more, the days of Zayn taking advantage of me were long gone. But still, a part of me couldn't help but feel upset because of everything that occurred. I just so badly wanted to ask him why he decided to ruin my life. Why me? Did he truly not have a conscience or was he completely void of emotion? Regardless, I felt a lot better than I had before, but so much of me still was in a state of disbelief.

"You okay?" I asked Harry, shaking off the thoughts of Zayn that wanted to cling to me.

"I'm just thinking," he replied, "I don't understand how it's possible for a someone to hurt you as much as he did."

His eyes met mine, glimmering but so desperate. "I don't know, I don't wanna talk about it. It's a lot to get into."

"Okay, I understand. But why did you decide to come? I feared you'd go back."

It was a good question that I hadn't yet answered to myself. The answer seemed obvious but finding the right words was hard.

"Because I don't need that," I say in a quiet tone, "I want my own life... I don't want anything of his."

He visibly cheered up. "I don't want to force you to do anything, you know that. If you want this," he motioned at himself and then me, "we can take it as slow as possible in the future."

"Really?"

He smiled at me, "It's not like we're gonna run out of time."

Just by him telling me he was willing to wait some time made me feel like I had made the right choices. Though his words were the right ones, I couldn't help but feel disappointed inside. It wasn't because of Harry or even the situation we were in, but it was the fact that no man had ever given me the choice to take it at my own pace. Maybe with me being torn apart from Zayn, something had clicked in my head. I wasn't just going to be the girl everyone else wanted me to be like I have been all my life. I couldn't keep pretending that I deserved to be taken advantage of because it's what I thought I deserved. Being with Harry these last few days has really made me think. Just seeing how he is with me - caring, soft, patient... I never thought I deserved that and since I didn't, I never wanted someone to treat me that way.

"Let's just take it slow," I say, catching his surprised face.

"You know that there's no rush, I'm not rushing," he chuckles, "I'm happy you're here."