faded

53.0 - all the pinot grigio girls

I'd like to say I woke up on my own from a deep sleep, but it would be a lie. The last few days had been exhausting, they consisted of going with Cara to buy more things for the wedding, looking through her binders with endless lists to make sure we had everything, and lots of sleeping for me. I was exhausted lately and though I was happy to help, with every waking moment I felt even worse.

The excited giggles coming from downstairs were what woke me up. I should've remembered that all of Cara's bridesmaids would come by today, since the wedding was in two days. I groaned and forced myself out of bed.

Before a quick shower, I looked at my reflection in the huge mirror. My roots were coming in and as much as I hated my hair right now, I couldn't bring myself to cut it or do anything to it. I was probably going to dye it again so I could gain back some normality, even if it was only temporary. I could force myself to act like myself, I suppose, but the worst thing I could do was fake it. Everyone would notice anyway.

Truthfully I was excited for the wedding. I hadn't been to such a lavish event in so long. Still, a part of me was green with envy.  Zayn and I had so many plans and though he promised he'd return, every passing day confirmed he wouldn't. I didn't wanna give up, but what could I do? Wait forever? I knew that I would, but would that even matter to him?

After my shower I found some nice jeans Cara had gotten me, along with a gray sweater to keep me warm. I was always really cold, despite the heat always being on in my room. In just fuzzy, pink socks, I exited my room and made my way downstairs, not sure who I'd meet today.

Make an effort to be friendly, don't be all shy and quiet.

"There she is!" Cara ran over to me as I walked down the stairs, giving me her hand so I could walk into the large living area with her.

All over the room - expensive bottles of alcohol, binders, ribbon, pens, champagne flutes. An attractive bunch of women sat on the various couches and on the carpet.

Everyone smiled at me and said their hello's, waiting for Cara to introduce me.

"Okay, girls! This is my sister in law, Anastasia," she beamed, I think already a little tipsy. From left to right, she told me everyone's name, "This is Zoe, Lizzy, Emma, Jordy, and Kendall."

"Hi everyone," I said shyly, kicking myself mentally.

"We've heard so much about you! My father met yours while on business years ago," the woman named Elizabeth said, offering a sympathetic smile.

"Really?" I tried to smile but the mention of my father threw me off.

I wonder if they knew just what had happened and if they'd look at me the same way if they knew who Zayn really was.

Cara must've noticed me tense up, because she offered me a champagne flute and invited me to sit next to her on the white couch.

Lizzy smiled at her phone. "Look at the picture my husband sent me! Isn't she so cute?"

She showed is her phone screen and a beautiful little girl appeared to be covered in spaghetti sauce.

"Is she yours?"

She nodded happily, looking at the picture once more. "Yes, Rose Victoria. Our little angel."

"Are you in New York much?" Zoe asked, tying gold bows together and putting them in a little basket. "Lizzy and her family just moved back."

"Not as much, I've moved here permanently."

She pouted. "Ugh, that sucks. We were all just saying that after the wedding we should all get together. My father's hotel would be a great spot for a girls night!"