faded

27.0 - hey, angel

an- I'm crying this chapter was too much

Time did go by, despite how endless I thought the days would be. It seemed like my head was clearing up as the days went by. Everything felt normal, surprisingly, like we weren't hiding. Harry and I spent a lot of time together, sometimes just reading or watching TV, which was fine by me. Amy had helped me change up my look, my hair now a pixie shade of blonde.

I didn't think dying my hair would change anything. But it did. As she washed my hair in the bathtub, I began to feel like a different girl. I refused to look in the mirror until it was completely dry and Harry returned from his trip to the store so we could both see it.

I sat on the bed watching reruns of the powerpuff girls with Amy on a sunny, autumn afternoon. My hair was sightly damp and my spirits were high. We had an early lunch and laid around the hotel room, nervous for the long plane ride to Berlin tomorrow.

It was amazing. I wasn't afraid, in fact, I was having fun. I felt so free to just be me and laugh. It felt so good to have Amy here and Harry, because they really made it so easy for me to relax.

The days had been full of realization. One of the conclusions I came to was what a great person Amy was. It wasn't just the fact that she had risked this, while having to stay behind to work for Zayn, but everything else. When she came home from work, we would just talk. It was so odd how I had considered her an enemy and vice versa, but had I not been so blind, she could've been my friend before all this mess. Harry slept in her hotel room now, since Amy slept in here. We watched movies all night and ordered room service, we talked about what we had been through up til now, avoiding Zayn completely. It didn't need to be discussed, that was in the past. Harry had been bringing home weed to help with my migraines and a lot of the time, the three of us spent a lot of the days laughing and pretending like we weren't in so much danger.

"Harry is gonna die when he sees you," she teased, pulling my long hair back to braid it.

My mouth curved into a smile. "You think?"

Any began to work on my hair. "You're glowing, blonde suits you. He's gonna love it."

I didn't know what was going on with Harry lately. It had been three days since he told me about Berlin, and all my thoughts had been about that, not Zayn. It just seemed so easy to forget when Harry treated me like an actual human being instead of an idiot like Zayn. These past few days had taught me a lot. I had been clean for just a few days and even though the migraines, the nightmares, and the occasional withdrawal were extremely hard to cope with... Amy and Harry were there for me.

It was all I ever wanted.

"I've really enjoyed these last few days," Amy says as she lets my hair loose, making herself comfy next to me. We were both sitting on a pile of blankets and the bed was a mess of magazines and makeup.

Like a big sleepover, I think. I had never been on one and this was the most unfortunate situation to be in, but I actually had fun... Maybe this was the silver lining people spoke about.

"I have, too. I really wish it could last forever."

My words must have surprised her, her soft expression making me feel sad. "I promise when it's over, we'll catch up in Berlin like we said."

I took her hand in mine. "I'm afraid I won't see you again."

My fears were justified. I had no idea what would happen to her if Zayn found out she was apart of this.

Her eyes were glossy, but she disguised her sadness with a little laugh. "It's not the end, Ana. I admit things are scary, but they won't always be like this. Eventually we'll all be in the place where we belong."