Surrender To Love

23. I'm Fine

[Astrid's POV]

I can't stop thinking about what he did and his disgusting hands down my pants. I try to scrub the feeling in the shower but the moment I remember it comes back. What did I let him see the girls? Why did I let him in my home? Why did I let him back in our life?

Today is the first day of work and school. I'm getting the girls ready for school. I explained to them a while ago the separation and they took it well. June is going to be placed in a class with children with disabilities including autism and ADHD. This particular class has students who can function better on their own. It's almost a normal classroom but it has a specific learning path and different rules.

I got dressed in jeans and a blouse for my first day as a teacher. I leave my room and make sure the girls are dressed in their uniforms. When I see that they have, I prepare their breakfast. I'm making a filling West African breakfast, soaked garri. I add garri into the bowls and clean them using water. I use the same method I use when cleaning rice. When it's clean I add evaporated milk, sugar, and peanuts into the bowls. When I finish I give the bowls to the twins.

We eat together and talk about our feelings for the day. "I'm feeling a little nervous because I'm not gonna be with June."

"Yeah? June are you gonna miss your sister?"

"A little bit but not too much."

"No?" She shakes her head. "Aniyah, you just make lots of friends and be yourself. You too, June. Ok?"

"Ok, Mommy."

When they are done eating their food, they grab their backpack and put them on. I grab my bag and we head out to the car. We arrive at the school and I park, we then head out and to my class. It's still early for them to go to school so we will hang in my class until it's time. They entertain themselves for a while, and more kids come and play outside so they go out too. I finished writing the schedule and my name on the whiteboard.

The bell rings and I prepare for the third graders. I wait until the second bell rings to open the door. "Hello, class! Let's hang our backpacks up on the hooks before heading inside please."

They hang their backpacks and walk inside. They all stand not knowing where to go. I haven't made a seating arrangement because I want them to be able to sit next to someone hey know. I'll most likely change it but for now, it's what I want. "Okay class, go ahead and find your own seats, wherever you'd like."

A few kids look lost while others find friends and take their seats. Some other kids don't have friends here and find a seat by themselves. After everyone finds a seat about 2 minutes later I begin.

"Hello, my name is Ms. Obi. I'm going to be your teacher. I think it not only helps me but you if you get to know each other. So I'll go first by naming a few things about me. 1, this is my first year teaching as a teacher. I've been a substitute but I've never had my own class. So you guys are my first. 2, I am a mom of twin girls that go to this school as well so I'm familiar with it. 3, I am very excited to teach you all. Okay, who wants to go next?"

No one raises their hand for a while and I look around the room. A young girl with blonde hair soon does. I smile and nod my head. "How many things do you have to say?"

"One to three things," I smile and she nods her head and takes a deep breath.

"My name is Diana and I was named after Princess Diana. I'm in gymnastics and I just got my standing back tuck. Which is impressive for my age. I have a dog named Rex and a cat named Thunder. My favorite colors are red and I love to go swimming. I think I said more than three." She says then shyly sits down.

"It's okay hun, I also like the color red. Do you think gymnastics is something you going to do when you're older?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna be an Olympian!"

"That's amazing. Who's next?"

[Dylan's POV]

I'm tired and sick. I want nothing more than to stay in bed today. Yesterday, I was able to make up with my roommates. We were able to comprise a reasonable price for me and them. I end up paying a little more but it's nothing I can't handle. I don't start medical school til next week, so there's nothing for me to do.

I can't stay in bed because I won't get up. I try to limit the amount I nap to one but it's hard. I just lack motivation sometimes and just completely shut down. I'm trying to prepare myself when I become a doctor because I know there will be no sleep. To keep myself busy, I'm cleaning my room. I make sure to get under my bed and in the closet as well.

To prevent boredom, I finished in half an hour. I went to go find myself something to eat in the kitchen. I found some leftover pizza and placed it into the microwave. When it was ready, I found myself on the couch and put on my show, Orange is the New Black. It's got a lot of naked women and lesbian sex, the best way to get me out of this mood.

After seeing how Daya unknowingly gave her baby to Pornstashe, I turned off the show. I checked the time and it reads 12:04. Astrid is still working so I can't call her. I groan and get agitated at the fact I'm alone with nothing to do. I get up and put my plate in the sink, then go to my room for a small nap. Just a small one.

---

The nap wasn't a good one, I was uncomfortable the whole time. I woke up sweating and had a sour taste in my mouth. I went to the bathroom took a shower and brushed my teeth inside. I'm not sure what to do with the rest of the day and my mind is beginning to fog. When I was done showing, I went to the couch and sat down.

I hate my fucking life

(A/N: Dylan's just having one of those days 😭. This one is short bc it's a filler/update plus I was lacking motivation and it's slightly rushed but I always post two so you get another one. )