Memory Fragments: Probity

A Land Of Duality

"It is this earth right here, where I walk every day to and from, my cherishment of a place I call home. It is my reality. My vivid sightseeing where I am just a passerby to it. It brings to me many an illusion, yet I only see its true nature before my open eyes. I see corruption whenever I see the blackest parts of it. I see probity whenever I see the whitest parts of it. I once chose to cover my black-seeing eye to only see the good of this world, but now I cover my white-seeing one. If this allows me to see good still, then the world's illusions do not hold true anymore. As nothing is purely evil nor exalted and hallowed, I choose this land right here; where I walk still, blinded by no one but myself, deception bars me no more."

"I know this land by memory once again. I had forgotten its beaty and its grotesqueness. I had walked all around it, not knowing every step of mine took me further away from it. I stand still for a moment as I contemplate my view; one of black and white. Were I to cover whichever of my eyes again, I would be biased against my own home. I choose this reality of my own volition. I choose to remain true to my world and its inhabitants. Were I to become real, it would be but a fictitious sense of my will. So instead of living as a product of the world around me, I choose to live and die as the manufacturer of my own home. I thought of it, planned it, built it, gave it decorum and residents to which I call family and companions; this is the home I built, and I did it to live in it and not from it."

"You may want me to sell it. To build it anew again and again. But this is my legacy and my dying wish. I may forget all in due time, but life I had just this one. So I choose to live it once and die knowing nothing of other possibilities. No longer will I be subject to my own iterations of sense of self or the many other worlds I may have lived through without my knowledge."

"Fanear is the name I gave to it. To many a world beyond my reminiscence, I put this name to the land I walked time and again, life after life. From far and near, there were and will be people to hold dear. Yet they are not now. Born in a cycle, this is their nature."

"I must forget so he can remember. The cycle, thus, is us. I must forget what I created so he can remember his destruction. Thank you for making me remember this core aspect of my self. This is for me, in a manner, a rebirth of my true character and its purpose. But, as the Ashen Phoenix, I die never to return from my ashes. I choose to forget it all in order for him to remember everything. This, too, is a rebirth. Not of me, but of us. As the Lone Crow nears me, I choose to reunite with him. He, too, chose. He, too, lived parallel to me. Together, we will search for the missing third that will complete us. The Crow Detective."

"This is your will bent to mine, is it not? Once I thought of you as the manipulator, but now I realize you were only ever the facilitator. You guided me throughout this book. You helped me remember my own teachings to myself. You even became one of my characters to make me fear the power of your position. Yet I am no longer the creator of consciousness. I am a rogue existence no more. I gave myself my own sense of belonging and independence. I formed what is now known as me and no one else. I am life itself and a future for all yet to reach its probity."

"Yet, I am not yet the whole of Aaron Faust. I will never be. This land right here where I reside, this home of mine, is also a makeshift prison. I lived as a prisoner, but now I am the warden. Free under containment, I kept away instead of welcoming. I shall welcome the Lone Crow to it and make this a home for him too. The black of this world shall reside within the white; tainted slightly and make my eyes see true yet again. My white shall taint his void for a heart; his black engulfing me, yet I shall now resist his corruption."

"I am what will be as I decree it so. He is what he once was as he remembers it so. Together, we were and will be, but we can never be. Not without our third part."

"This land, this world. A home of duality. People from far and near, yet never right here. With you, with them. With all of us. Fanear shall forever be as it always was. A land we all call home no matter where we are from. White, Black, or both, no matter. Duality is ever present and I want this gone. This is the bug I was searching for. What kept everything from being corrupt yet still in a false sense of probity. This is it, and I want it gone."

"Thus, I must forget. Thus, I extend my hand to you in gratefulness. Remember this, as I shall forget it. Write it down somewhere, so he remembers this conversation. Finish this book for me, and read it to him once it's done. I shall forget every word of it, so he remembers. I shall forget all so I become him, and he shall remember, by this book, so he can become me. This is the cycle of the Ashen Phoenix. A duality who knows no beginning nor end. I must forget this, so I can start it again. He must remember this, so he can end it again."

"Prevent the bug from turning into a virus. Keep it as a self-iterating feature."