Duty and Devotion// A Call of Duty; TF141 Fanfic

25 - PTSD

Once back at Ghost's room we get as comfortable as we can on the sofa, despite an odd tension between us. At first there's a bit of space between us but eventually Ghost pulls me closer and wraps his arms tightly around my body. While he's holding me I feel him reach up and pull his mask off then set it down beside us on the sofa.

"Ahh, geez Si, you're crushing me." I groan with a giggle.

"Sorry, I just missed you and I'm glad to see you're starting to get better." He responds and loosens his grip.

From here we relax around each other a bit more as we cuddle and watch whatever movie he put on. At some point I even doze off in his arms in the middle of some war related movie. The length of my nap is unknown to me but I get rudely awoken when Ghost attempts to move me to his bed.

Thanks to a new found issue with PTSD sudden movements and sounds, especially when I'm sleeping, send me into a panic. When Ghost moves from beneath me I quickly jolt awake as the inevitable panic hits and I frantically look around with heavy breathing.

Forgetting where I am and who I'm with for a moment, when Ghost reaches to place a comforting hand on my shoulder I freak out even more. I grab his wrist tightly before twisting him around in a defensive arm lock with his arm in the center of his back and him now pinned to the wall nearby. The whole reaction only takes a few seconds to occur so Ghost doesn't even get a chance to defend himself. Only when he groans in pain do I realize it was only Ghost and the initial panic fades to a fear that I hurt him.

"Oh my god." I say in shock and quickly release him. "Si, I am so sorry." I say quietly as I back away.

Fear and concern is covering both of our faces as Ghost turns to look at me while rubbing his shoulder.

"It's okay, Maddy. I get it, don't worry." He says in a low voice.

He keeps eye contact to show me he's being genuine then slowly walks over and pulls me into a gentle hug. After a moment he takes a step back and lifts my chin with his thumb so I'm forced to look at him.

"I'm really sorry." I mumble.

"It's okay, love." He responds in a calming voice.

With slight hesitation he then leans down and placed a small kiss on my lips. He pulls away for only a second to ensure I'm okay with him doing so before returning his soft lips to mine in a more passionate kiss. He moves one hand to my hair while the other gently grips my hip. My hands immediately tangle in his hair, tugging slightly at his brunette locks.

After some time of us kissing he moves to walk forward, leading me as I walk with him backwards to the bed. Once we hit the bed I fall back with a small squeal and Ghost falls on top of me. We giggle for a second at the clumsy accident before reconnecting our kiss. As we continue he moves me up onto the bed more for a more comfortable position.

The make out session only gets more heated and eventually Ghost removes his shirt before attempting to do the same for me. However the small action of him lifting the hem of my shirt was more than enough to trigger flashbacks of Graves and I immediately push Ghost off of me.

"I'm sorry, I can't.. I can't do this.. Not.. Not yet." I stammer as I stand to leave.

"What-? No, Maddy, it's okay love." Ghost responds and follows my actions of standing.

"No, Simon, it's not okay. You don't get it, I will probably never be ready for that shit again so it's not okay." I snap and walk away from him.

"Madison, I get it. Trust me." He says, clearly trying to remain calm.

"I-I need to leave." I say quietly and quickly leave his room before he gets a chance to stop me.

I rush back to my room and lock the door behind me as the flashbacks continue to flood my mind. I then shut myself into my bathroom where I turn the shower onto hot and just sit under the running water, not even bothering to remove my clothes beforehand. I sit like this, with my knees to my chest and head hanging low, for what feels like an hour at least before I finally calm down and get out. I remove my wet clothes and dry off before walking into my room for new clothes. Once in dry clothes I climb into bed with intentions on sleeping the rest of the evening away.