Stand tall ( BUCKY X READER )

Surprise

One more month to go and time was torturously slow . The days felt longer   was like it wanted her to suffer and the wait  felt longer now than it did before as she wanted them home  .  Y/n mood felt like it was falling too suddenly she couldn't sleep and she felt dreadful of course she put the brave face on for everyone mainly the kids but the team weren't fooled in fact they where more worried than anything else.  she was falling sleep due to exhaustion in the lab or pushing the plate away at meal times even evie commented on the lack of food . she couldn't help it she was worried on adam's progress , as well as wanting to be there for him she'd missed so much already it was killing her. granted it wasn't her fault but still she didn't want to miss anymore time. Even bucky seen how bad she was taking  everything but she smiled and told him it was fine trying not to worry him  just concentrate on adam .  he called the team confirming what he already knew but it hurt more hearing it from someone else she was suffering and he couldn't help . he wanted to be there for his doll , for his family. 

Logan couldn't take it anymore , he couldn't listen to her excuses or that she was fine . he could tell she wasn't she needed release the pent up emotion or she would explode .  so one day while she was working in the lab he walked in picking her up and walked out tony and bruce stood smiling hoping it would help none of the team could see her like this anymore . " put my down" she growled hitting his back . " nope we are getting out for the day so shut up and put your helmet on and get on the damn bike " he told her  placing her in front of her bike . " ok but whatever is going on you owe me i was onto something in the lab " she muttered it hit her she almost forgot it was there since everything happened it was once her pride and joy now sat collecting dust . she kinda missed the way she felt when she rode it , the breeze on her skin being free in that moment it was a feeling she forgot but missed all at once.  She didn't want to admit but when she got on the bike it was like her old self the person before the phoenix , kids and suffering .  she wouldn't change being a mother for anything but still it felt nice to be her old self .   she couldn't help the smile that came when she started the engine feeling that purr  that sent her so much joy.  she loved bikes more for the fact they were more open showing her a sense of  freedom she never had when she first was rescued all those years ago .  kicking into speed the two howletts pulled out of the garage and hit the open road  the sum beaming down through the visor  lifting the helmet off she felt the wind flow through her letting it over take her sense and letting her worries and fear subside . the moment her mind just set on the there and now with each mile they passed .   the colour more vibrant of the world ahead giving her sense of hope that seemed to be lost for little while .  it was like the universe was finally showing her the beauty after the pain .    it showed her that even though they had a long journey ahead better days were coming . " don't let a little bump in the road stop your whole journey" those words finally had bigger meaning than they intended to have.  yes the recovery for adam was going to be tough but if anyone could help it was her and bucky. they knew more than anyone what it was like to be hydra puppet  but they also knew life went on and good things were had also . 

following logan they pulled into a  large lake area  , she'd never been here before but she knew from the description where she was.  " this is where you found mom" she said walking to the water edge . " yeah i came here so many times when i thought i lost her the first time  it made me connected to her , still does i came here few time in last year needing that connection to help me with you" he smiled sadly .  " you know she'd be proud of you, you the most amazing father a girl could have no matter what you've came to my rescue  from either hydra or simple nightmare " she smiled hugging him from the side. " she'd be more proud of you kid after everything  you've been through you still stand tall , you may be in a funk but you still put on that brave face and make sure we are all cared for even if your breaking inside , she would be proud of how you stepped up for those kids that where literally thrown at you without warning , most of all she be proud you didn't give up" his words bringing the emotion she felt tied deep inside suddenly coming to the surface braking the barrier she held together for last five months and even more . a tidal wave mixed with a tornado of emotions hitting her as she fell to her knees letting it all out what she didn't expect was the surge of power that followed almost blowing the water from the lake .  she sat and cried it all out her father crouching to herside letting her free it but letting her know she was there . he held her for hours and she talked about it all  from missing bucky , her fear of failing the kids  everything poured out making her feel almost weightless when she was finished.  she didn't see this happening for her daily task but she was happy it did , they whole day had giving her a new perspective  . Her face now had a genuine smile one she didn't need to force or fake it was their naturally of it own accord.  taking a last breath they got back on the bike she forgone the helmet needing to let the world finally in and not hiding from it anymore.  she laughed and smiled as they walked in looking into see the team smiling back til she frose her heart warmed instantly  and fresh happy tears hit her eyes . " hey mom "  " hey doll" .