Actor, 𝕭𝖆𝖓𝖌 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓 [UNDEREDITING]

17 ; Actor

As always, our jobs depended on us and we spent the remaining time making as many good lyrics as we could. Chan ability coming through in the most imperative times, and the song was half way done. Lyrics, and scribbles, and ripped up paper was surrounding us till late night. Time seemed to move by faster when Chan was around and we always seemed to have fun with the small things together.

"Oh my god." I said in English, and Chan turned to me with a smile, "It's 10pm!"

"And?" He laughed confused on why I was being dramatic.

"Well, we have to be up early tomorrow right?" I asked him, wondering how his schedule was. I had stopped speaking in english at this point, after all, my english wasn't that good.

He sighed as he smiled at me, "Yeah. I have to be up at 7am."

He had to be up at 7am, and here he was sitting in the studio with me. Was he crazy, he should be in bed by now! I know I have to be up early too, and I'm wanting to go home to my bed to be properly rested for tomorrow.

"Hyung! Are you crazy? Go to bed!" I say, incredulous to how he could possibly want to be awake any longer.

Chan laughed again, seemingly a bit tired and out of it. I sighed at his state, although I found it really cute how he got giggly when he was tired. I started giggling too, and we were laughing over nothing for a few seconds. I noticed how his cheeks were a bit flushed, and how his hair had started poking out form under his beanie.

"Channie. Are you driving home?" I asked him in the soft silence, and he sighed again.

"I don't want to go back to the dorms." Chan said, and the sudden change in the atmosphere was noticeable.

"Why not?" I questioned him, a small smile playing on my face as he spoke with his eyes closed.

He hesitated in answering, "Because...you're not there."

I looked at his face, his eyes were still closed and he seemed to be dozing off gently in his chair. His hair was under the usual beanie, with a few strands poking out on his forehead, and he was barefaced after a hard day of working and promotions. He lips though, they seemed red and inviting. Almost like he was trying to tease me, and it seemed almost impossible to hold back.

"Chan? Do you want to drive me to my apartment again?" I asked, trying to distract myself from his lips. 

He opened his eyes and tilted his head to face me with a smile, he nodded. We stood up, turned off all the computers, got dressed properly and we faced the biting from the cold wind until we were back in his car. He seemed more awake after the cold wind on his bare face, and so he drove quickly down the streets of Seoul till we reached the familiar car park under my building.

I led Chan up the elevator again and into my apartment. He tiredly took off his shoes in my corridor and yawned. He seemed like a big puppy, who just wanted to sleep his worries away. I watched him stumble into my sitting room, and sit on the couch. He yawned once more, and he smiled at me.

"Hyung, your so cute." I said, as I placed my shoes by his. I came into the sitting room, and he was just sitting there politely.

"Korain-ah, tell me about your day." He whispered as he leaned on the back of my sofa.

"My day?" I question, "Well, I was just filming some final things before we go down to Busan."

"Ahh, yeah. Busan...When do you go again?" Chan questioned, and he turned to face me, lying on his side.

"This Monday coming hyung." I tell him, watching him fondly. 

I wonder how others might see him. To other people, was he cute too? Were they intimidated by him? Was he even slightly mean looking to them? 

To me, I couldn't help but find him like a teddy bear. He seemed immediately friendly, and now watching sit on my sofa, going in and out of sleep was super sweet. He might be older, and more mature and responsible but when he lets go like this, I cant help but swoon over him a little. He had a distinct charm which seemed young, and friendly, and I couldn't seem to think straight when he was around.

"Do you have to go?" He asks, softly. He was about to fall asleep at any second. 

"Come on hyung, you can sleep in my bed." I say softly, and he nods. 

I helped him up from the sofa, and led him to my bedroom. The apartment windows were large, and the night time view was lovely. I moved to turn the light on till he stopped me and moved to look out the windows. The lights of the office buildings were on, and from my bedroom, it seemed almost magical. 

As he was distracted with looking outside, I sneaked into one of my drawers, and pulled out a oversize hoodie which hung low on me and exposed my shoulders. It was a friends, but I no longer see him so I guess Chan can sleep in it. I also pulled out some shorts, but they might be a bit small on him. After all, I'm way smaller than him in terms of muscle.

I walked over to him as his eyes moved over the horizon, and over the buildings which seemed to spring in golden lights. I lightly pat his shoulder and he turned. His eyes were watering slightly ready for bed, and I handed him the clothes. I pointed him to my bathroom, and I watched him as he left to change. 

I winded my blinds down over my windows, and I sat on the edge of my bed. I sighed, even though I was sure I liked Chan a lot, there was a lot of caution we would have to heed to. So many worries just to be happy. It seemed fruitless at times, and I didn't want to question whether pursuing him was worth all the worry. I couldn't help but feel that finding our happiness together would be very difficult. I would be devastated if anything were to happen to Chan.

I yawned. Chan eventually came out of the bathroom, and he was wearing the jumper. It fit him pretty nicely, although it was a big long on him still, after all, he's a bit shorter than me. He climbed onto the window side of my bed, and I smiled at him. 

"Have a good sleep hyung." I whispered and I heard shuffling.

"Where are you going?" He whispered out, and I turned to look at him in the dark.

"I'll sleep on the sofa hyung." 

I heard more shuffling, "Don't, I'll feel bad if you do."

I would've jumped in bed with him at the first chance but thinking about it rationally, I hesitated. I don't want him to feel bad, but I don't want to pressure him. He has his worries about this relationship too, and I don't want to push my luck. 

"Are you sure?" I whisper.

"Yeah. It's your bed." Chan argued, and I sighed.

I lifted up my side of the bed, and climbed in gently. I set my phone on charge and set an alarm for half 6 so Chan could get to JYPE in time for tomorrow. I heard shuffling on his side, and finally things went quiet. Everything except the beating of my heart which was rapid. I was nervous that Chan might touch me unintentionally, or maybe even intentionally. I don't think I could've handled it.

But throughout the night, there was no touching. Just soft breathing between us.