Actor, 𝕭𝖆𝖓𝖌 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓 [UNDEREDITING]

21 ; Actor

We eventually finished eating in the cosy restaurant, and when we stood outside, our stomachs full of delicious food, we were wondering how to stretch the time together. The night was darker now, and the streetlamps were lighting several streets we could wander down. The wind was nipping my hands and turning the tips of my fingers red.

"Come on, we'll slow walk back to my dorm building." Chan suggested, and I smiled and we slowly fell side by side, walking down the street we had already walked down to get to the restaurant.

"So...did you enjoy the food?" I asked, I was actually looking forward to his answer. It would mean a lot for him to like my comfort food place too.

"Yeah, I could tell the food was richer than what I usually get." Chan explained, "I felt like I could of bathed in the broth, it smelt so nice." 

I laughed with delight. Bathing in ramen broth, I never thought I'd hear that to explain how good the ramen was. I bumped shoulders with him accidently as I walked. He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. This night was turning out so perfect. 

"Hey, you wouldn't mind taking some photos of me right?" Chan suddenly asked and I shook my head.

"Of course not hyung. What is it for?" I asked as he search for his phone in his short pockets. I watched as he entered his password, and handed me his phone.

"I think I might post them when I get in. Stay are always asking me to post more." Chan announced, and I smiled.

I waited as he moved across the street to sit on a railing. I was happy to take photos of him, but I felt like some type of immersion of this false security I had built in our bubble was popped with the reminder of 'stay'. Our little world together was brought back into the dangerous reality that these photos alone could suggest something. It was nearly impossible but it had happened to me a few times, someone could find this location through these photos. It would cause problems if I was ever to walk down this road again with Chan.

Still, I took many photos of him as he posed. He looked amazing in his casual style, and I couldn't help but feel I wanted these photos to stay between me and him. We walked more, took some photos, and then we walked some more and finished the night by taking more photos. They were just photos of him, and I actually quite enjoyed being his photographer for the night.

"That went quickly." Chan mumbled as we came to the buildings car park. I could see my car on the other side.

"I know, and we were walking slow." I announced, a dejected tone in my voice. 

I watched as Chan slowly spun to face me, his right leg sticking up a little bit to spin slower and balance. I smiled as he childishly spun again to waste time. I really wanted to kiss him. I know he said not to, but I wont go the full way if he pushed me away. His person boundaries were important to me, but I'll chance it just to try. I didn't want to push him, hurt his feelings, but one kiss before I leave for 2-3 weeks.

I stepped closer to him, my mind focused on getting close to him physically. He could see what I was doing, clearly my lack of experience was obvious but he didn't seem to mind. He grabbed my hand and pulled me forcefully to him. I nearly bounced against him from the force, and I was suddenly shocked. Unable to move, and incredibly nervous. I was confident 5 seconds ago but Chan's sudden move had sent shivers done my body.

A ringtone wedged itself between our close bodies, and I sighed.

"Sorry hyung." I said as I fished for my own phone, "It's probably my mum."

I clicked the answer button, and without the speakerphone on, her loud shrill voice sounded through. I held it between us, not wanting her screaming to destroy my eardrums. 

"MY BABY!" 

I gave Chan a 'sorry' look hoping he would understand that I probably need to answer this call. He nodded, but the smile he had on his face was depleting, and he returned to his usual casual self. I suddenly missed the confident and daring hyung that pulled me closer. I put the phone to my ear hesitantly.

"Korain-ah, you there?" She asked, way more quiet than she began the call.

"Hello mum, what's happening? I'm busy right now." I announce to her, and she sighed.

"Your always so busy korain-ah.." My mother sighed, "Sorry baby. I just got news though about your grandma."

"What wrong with Grandma?" I asked quickly, I hope it wasn't something bad.

"Her cat has passed. My and your father are going to be away for the next few weeks to visit her." My mother said quietly. My mother hated my dad's mum, so spending time with ehr was going to take a lot out of her.

"Mum, you know I don't live that far from grandma. I can visit after I come back from Busan. Don't worry to much about her." I said. Her cat passed, so she needs attention...My grandma was like the devil recarnate. 

"I know. I just wanted to let you know." My mother sighed again, but I could hear the smile once again when she began talking about her new friend that he walks with.

"Mum please. I'm really busy right now." I sighed, I looked back at Chan who was kicking stones on the pavement. I quickly said goodbye to my mother, promising to call her before I leave again for Busan.

"Your mum?" Chan asked to confirm and I nodded.

"Yeah, she can talk for days I swear." I chuckled awkwardly, I stood close to him, hoping he would pull me close again. He smiled, but I could tell he felt awkward, things running through his mind again.

"Hyung, can I kiss you?"

He looked up at me, and I watched as his eyes scanned my face. His brow was etched into a frown and I wonder what internal battles he was fighting, just what was going through his mind at this moment? Where had his confidence gone?

He nodded, and he took that step closer to me. We were so close, in the bitter cold, I could feel Chan's warm breath mixing with my own. My breath was getting shorter and the my nerves were building up. I closed my eyes, after my eyes scanned Chan's own nervous features. I waited, and waited till a soft delicate tickle landed on my lips. I almost couldn't move, but I wasn't nervous anymore.

Chan had kissed me, softly. I wanted more. I was desperate. I was young, and I wanted more. I reached forward, and sealed our lips a little more roughly than what both of us were expecting. Chan stumbled back slightly, but I moved with him as if I was scared of losing the taste of his lips. I was so enamoured by his kiss, I didn't realise he was panicking. Desperate to get out of my arms.

"Stop...Rain-ah." 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry hyung." I panicked too, almost ready to sacrifice anything for him not to hate me.

"I can't do this." 

He turned and jogged back into his dorm building. I was shell-shocked, too much to move, too much to follow him, too much to give him a proper apology, too much to make amends. I was standing out of his building like a freak with nearly purple fingers from the cold. I was already missing his touch, his warmth, and his presence. 

Was this the end of us for definite?

*Sorry if there's spelling mistakes and bad grammar, I didn't read through this chapter :)