Undo My Heart (BXB)

16. Not yours

My head was spinning the whole morning at school. I went through classes feeling the bangs. I was barely awake during the first couple of classes. I checked the time, like uncountable, until lunchtime.

Brandon texted me earlier that we should have our lunch break at the rooftop because it's quieter. I agreed. If we need to sort things up, we need to be alone. Also, it would be easier to ask him out.

I had gym class right before lunch break. I was drained and out of energy, not to mention soaked in sweat. I went on the showers and freshened up. I left the showers and headed out, but I saw Janice and her minions blocking the exit, so I turned around to the other exit. That's when couch Lee caught me.

"Jimmy? Rushing somewhere?" He approached me, giggling.

"Coach Lee." I stood still, waiting for him to scold me. I mean, I keep on skipping on practices without giving him any excuses.

"Got a minute? Listen, we got a match next week. Are you ready for it?" He raised his eyebrows.

A game next week? How come no one said anything? Oh, right, it's my fault.

"Um! Yeah? It's just a game."

"Just a game?" He frowned. "Jimmy, we're competing against one of the best teams. They always ahead of points. It's not just a game. You have to be mentally prepared for it. Are you?"

"I am. I can play with my eyes shut." I said with confidence.

He patted my shoulders. "Okay, Michael Jordan. That's the spirit. Anyway, I'll see you at the team gathering this Saturday. 8 p.m., X cafe. Don't skip that, too. It's our rituals before any game. Bring a girlfriend, too." He winked.

"Sure." What!

"Perfect. See you at practice." He slaped my shoulder and walked away.

I was standing there dumpfoumded until I realized that Brandon was waiting for me. I rushed outside the gymnasium, climbing the stairs to the rooftop. I went through the door to find him sitting there.

"Was I late?" I panted a little.

"No, I just arrived." He frowned. "Why do you look like a mess?"

I put my things on the table and throw my body to the chair next to him. "gym class." I took my breaths.

His eyes roamed around me. "You didn't bring yourself lunch?" He asked.

"No, I don't feel like eating anything. I had coffee, though."

"Are you trying to kill yourself! Are you okay?" He put his hand on my forehead in a sudden move, which made me flinch. My heart skipped a beat. "You seem fine." He opened his bag and grabbed a box. "Here. I made this."

I took the box. "For me?"

"Yeah. You made me sandwiches once. You took care of me when..." He played with the hem of his sleeves.

"Thanks."

The sandwiches were mess art, but I appreciate it. He tried, and that's enough for me. My heart felt flattered by the gesture. I took a few bites, even tho it was jam, and I hate jam. It's too sweet for me, but I acted like it was nothing. Obviously, Brandon isn't that good with food.

I thought it was the right time to have a conversation about what happened. It's the time to ask him out.

"We need to talk..."

"About that night..."

We both spoke at the same time. He looked at me, waiting.

"Sorry, you go first." I said.

"Um! I thought we should talk about what happened between us."

I decided to remain silent. He looked nervous.

"I... look, I appreciate everything you have done for me. Sincerely. But, um! I think what we did was wrong."

I kept blinking at him. It felt like I was getting dumped!

"I really feel that we'll be good friends, but it can't be anything more, and I'm sorry if I made you feel like it was possible. I might have given you false hope. I'm sorry." He stared at me with his big eyes.

I shook my head and acted it away. "Hey! It's nothing. I also think it was a mistake. Don't worry about it. I'm more than good with being friends. I wouldn't ask for more anyway."

Before I got to know Brandon, I hadn't thought of him as someone I would fall for. All I wanted was to make up for what I've done to him. I thought of being his friend, and that was the plan from the beginning. But it all feels different now. I feel like I wanted more, and I hoped for more even though I didn't. What is wrong with me! I'm nothing to him but a friend. Why would I feel this heartbroken over a stupid making out incident!

"Jimmy?" His voice brought me back to earth.

"Hm?" I took a bite of the sandwich, acting like nothing had happened.

Brandon seemed like he was trying to change the subject. He wanted to stop the awkwardness, and I appreciated that.

"So my parents are okay with you tutoring me again. Mom said your welcome to visit today after school if you want to. She also wants you to stay for dinner to thank you for taking care of me."

Screw the basketball ball practice after school. I'm going to Brandon's.

"It'll be my pleasure." I smiled at him. "But this time, we gotta study harder. Exams are coming up soon, you know."

"Um, I know. I got a good teacher." He grinned. I couldn't hold myself, so I ruffled his hair.

"What was that?" He giggled.

"What! Your hair is really soft." I chuckled and tried again. He laughed and pushed my hand. "Stop! You're so weird, I swear."

We both laughed, breaking the awkward. Another shell has been peeled, I guess.

He got ready to leave. "So I'll see you after school?"

"Yeah. Wait for me by the truck. We'll leave together."

"Okay. See you then." He waved goodbye. I waved back, feeling down, immediately.

His so adorable, and sometimes I feel like I can't have enough of his cuteness.

I have a feeling that we gonna enjoy today. As friends.

♡♡♡

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