Redamancy | Jasper Hale x Reader

Chapter Twenty-Two

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Quil has been... tricky since I found out about the wolves. Now I know why his best friends have ditched him and I can't even tell him.

How would I even phrase it?

Hey man, so you know how your best buds kinda cut all their hair off, got insanely ripped, tattooed these tribal pieces on their arms, and seclude themselves? Well, they're actually these supernatural protectors of the reservation and turn into huge fucking wolves.

Yeah that'd go over real well. Not to mention said wolves would rip me a fucking new one. I mean, they protect humans, but is the line drawn at exposure? Would they even vote or would Sam just slam his own gavel? Make a spectacle in front of the tribe? What would they even tell my mom?

I can't help the direction of my thoughts, desperation for my friend - to cure the source of his pain, gnaws at me from the inside.

So I unintentionally start hanging out with him less. Not completely - no, my heart would never allow it, but less. Less means I can stop pretending so much - I lie to my mom and I live with her. I lie to Bella because two friends falling apart in the same way helps no one. I lie to Quil so the wolves can continue to exist without a spotlight. I lie to Embry and say I'm fine so he can have someone to not be fine with. More often than not it feels like the smile on my face and the words in my mouth are just lies, lies, lies.

So I have to do less. Because less is how I stay afloat.

Less is what I wish I'd feel.

•••

•March 16th, 2006 • Quileute Indian Reservation•

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"Are you sure about this?" The roaring of the water below almost drowns me out, but Bella's shoulder is brushing mine and I can tell she heard my question in the way her own shoulders sink as we stare down at the turning water.

"Look, if you don't want to, you don't have to-"

"Oh I'm going to, just thought I'd offer an out." I'm not even looking at her and I can feel the tension leak away from her.

"You've always been down for some crazy stuff." She tells me, stepping away to shed her backpack, bracelets, shoes and anything else she doesn't want to get wet.

"Believe me, I fucking know." I whisper to myself.

Are we really about to jump from a cliff just to feel something?

I'll do anything to feel something besides this gaping hole in my chest and apparently that starts with cliff jumping.

I turn to check on her and catch her mumbling something under her breath before she steps off and disappears from view.

I copy her actions and shed myself of my extra clothing items until I'm in just my jeans and t-shirt. A thundering rumble from deep in the trees pulls my attention for half a second from the dark water below as I wait for Bella's head to surface. A storm, maybe? Has to be-but the snapping of twigs, that's something inside the forest.

The wolves? We picked a day they were occupied, they've been chasing Victoria ever since Laraunt showed up and Bella explained to Jacob what they were after - us. And Charlie, along with some trigger-happy townspeople, have been hunting the wolves.

Which leaves us free to do things like this, stupid shit without the overbearing men in our lives watching our every move.

I take a step forward into nothing before whatever that is makes an appearance and stops us.