Chapter Twenty-Five

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• March 24th, 2006 • Forks HS •

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Two days.

Forty-eight hours since I told Jasper Hale I needed time, space. Insane, really. Insane that even though he's gravity, he's in every thought scrolling through my brain, I asked him for the very thing my heart abhors. The very thing my brain needs.

It's exhausting, my rational brain warring with my irrational heart. He's here, he's home, I just need to soak up every second. But on the other hand... for how long? We still have the same issue - my humanity and his control.

My hand shuts my locker door not-so-softly and I stare at my fingers on the cold metal. They could be touching cold skin instead- fuck, this stupid beating organ in my chest.

Frustration drives me to dig my phone out of my pocket as the bell for fourth period rings, the hallway behind me emptying out quickly.

He answers on the second ring and relief loosens the knot in my chest fractionally.

"Hey girly, what's up?" Quil's chipper tone brings a grin to the corner of my lips.

"Kidnap me? Please?"

He must hear the desperation in my voice, since he agrees immediately. "Absolutely, I'll be there in twenty." A shout of protest echoes in the background and he apologizes quickly, he was in class I can't just ask him to- "Lunch?" He asks, jogging now by the puffs of his breath.

"Quil, that's a thirty minute drive-" I protest, worried.

"And you need rescuing, figure out what you want for lunch." He ends the call abruptly as the squeaky door to his junky old car opens.

Sighing at my phone, I pocket it and turn towards my next class. I can survive until he gets here, right? I've been climbing the walls for the last two days, the object of my thoughts noticeably absent from school.

That's a good thing, right? He's doing what I asked, allowing me the space I need to think clearly, without his persuasion.

When in all actuality, I can't help but feel like the walls are shrinking.

He's here, he's home, he said he wasn't going anywhere, his family is still here.

The affirmations trickle over my buzzing skin.

I saw Alice in second period. Emmett is sitting behind my empty seat in Trig - I just have to walk through the door.

How the fuck am I going to move forward, to figure out a solution with Jasper, if I'm also trying to tackle their abandonment?

I might as well be trying to move forward through mud - thick, dark, and fucking everywhere.

•••

My phone vibrates about fifteen minutes before the end of class, I don't dare pull it out of my pocket to confirm that it's Quil.

My hand raises and immediately catches Mr. Varner's gaze in the quiet classroom, "Yes, miss Y/l/n?"

"May I run to the bathroom, please?" I ask, trying to keep the sudden impatience out of my voice.

His nod is all I need to pack away my items quickly, behind me I hear the groan of the desk supporting the hulking frame of my other best friend.

"Y/n, what are you-" Emmett's hushed whisper makes my pulse jump.

"I'll be safe, promise." I whisper back and practically run for the door.

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