The Days That Count

35. The Day of Silent Echoes

HEAVENLY'S POV

I stare at him like a mad woman, probably not even blinking. I laid my heart bare in front of him. He probably realized I have feelings for him so, what now? Is he gonna brush it off? Jordan is kind. He is a goof but he is kind enough to take this one seriously.

"Heavenly, I don't think we should be doing this, " Jordan's puppy eyes look away as he steps back, completely shuddered.

My eyes narrow at him. I think he is chickening out, but why? I'm pretty sure he does like me. Maybe he doesn't like me enough?

"Then why did you kiss me back then?", I ask looking at him straight in the eyes, "If you never wanted to do this, why would you do that? Do you even realize what you've done?"

"I know! ", he yells out, frustrated, "I did it because... I don't know! I couldn't take fighting with you anymore and I didn't know how else to keep you and the situation got out of hand! I'm sorry!"

Am I hearing this right? He is literally saying it was just the spur of the moment. So wants to pretend like he doesn't have feelings for me.

"You're sorry?", I laugh, as the harsh wind blows between us, "You are sorry that you kissed me? Is that what you're saying?"

Our eyes exchange a wave of electricity. His light brown eyes glow in the afternoon sun, becoming kind of yellow. It gives them even more depth. Yet, I wonder why I cannot reach what is in his heart.

"No! That's not what I meant! ", he slams his hands on the wall on each side of my head, making me flinch, "I just don't want this to ruin our friendship! I care about you. Can't you just pretend it never happened?"

Laugh eacapes from my lips. I glare at him, not realizing that it's my lovely, nice Jordan standing before me and speaking such hurtful words.

"What if it's already ruined?", I purse my lips, "What would you do then? Huh? Do you think you're alone in making this decision? Are you actually that selfish? "

"I just want what's best for us, " he says with a loud, vibrant voice.

"So, you're denying that you feel any kind of attraction to me at all? Why tell such an obvious lie? Is that what friends do? Lie to each other?"

We can't seem to catch our breath. Nobody is communicating anything right. For Christ's sake, I haven't even told him I like him directly, and he is already rejecting me. The temperature that was just right minutes ago suddenly feels too hot.

"Um, excuse me.. I've got a delivery for this address. "

Jordan and I turn our heads to see the delivery guy carrying a large box with pizza. My face gets all red. He must have heard us. How embarrassing!

"Oh!", we both breathe out.

"Right. Come in, " Jordan welcomes him by opening the door.

I walk past him and find Baek and Aliyah making out on the couch. Jordan stands next to me, "Sorry to break your little moment but the pizza is here. "

They both jump right up, fixing their clothes. Baek walks past us to pay and Ally stays on the couch, creating an opportunity for an intense gaze to be shared between Jordan and I. This conversation is nowhere near over, nor is it at the beginning. I feel like this conversation is three years long at least, maybe even my whole life. My cheeks get hot. My heart feels jumpy. I can't believe I just told him all that.

"By the way, did you guys have a fight? We heard you from in here going rampant on the terrace," Aliyah breaks our silent gaze war.

It feels even harder to breathe now.

"Y-you heard us? What we were talking about?", I tremble.

Aliyah studies me closely and smiles at my silliness, "No. We didn't hear what it was about. We just heard you yelling. You guys should stop bickering over nonsense and grow up already. "

I breathe out. Last thing I needed is for Aliyah forcing me to talk about what happened.

"We didn't really fight, "Jordan says as he heads for the kitchen to get a glass of water.

NO ONE'S POV

The scent of freshly baked pizza filled the room as Jordan, Heavenly, Baek, and Aliyah lounged around, their laughter mingling with the lively chatter. It was a simple evening—a reprieve from the complexities that hung between them.

Slices of pizza disappeared rapidly as they joked, reminisced, and teased each other. Baek and Aliyah were the life of the gathering, their banter keeping the atmosphere light and carefree. Jordan and Heavenly joined in, their smiles masking the emotions they'd been holding back.

When Heavenly rose to leave, Jordan's hand instinctively reached out to stop her, a fleeting desire to address the unspoken hanging heavily between them. But as she turned, his resolve wavered, and he hesitated.

"Wait," he began, his voice catching in his throat. But in that split second, he reconsidered. The weight of their unspoken feelings seemed too heavy to bear in that casual moment. "Nothing... Nevermind."

Heavenly nodded, offering a faint smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "See you guys later."

The door closed softly behind her, leaving Jordan with a turmoil of thoughts swirling in his mind. His heart ached with the weight of the unsaid, but he couldn't bring himself to unravel the complexities between them, not in the midst of laughter and pizza.

Baek nudged him with a grin. "You're sulking as soon as Heavenly left, huh?"

Jordan managed a smile in response, though his thoughts were miles away. Baek's teasing tone broke through his reverie. "What's on your mind, man? You look like you're solving quantum physics in there."

"Nothing, just thinking," Jordan replied, deflecting the conversation away from the tangled web of emotions that clouded his thoughts.

Aliyah joined in, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Hey, I saw Yvonne today. She was as bitchy as ever. I know we encouraged you to date, but man you should have chosen better than that.."

Jordan felt a pang of guilt at the mention of Yvonne, his ex-girlfriend. He'd dated her in an attempt to bury his feelings for Heavenly, but the facade had crumbled the moment he saw Heavenly with someone else, her vulnerability exposed.

"Yeah, something like that," Jordan said, offering a half-hearted chuckle.

As the night wore on, they delved into games, laughter filling the air as they engaged in friendly competitions. Baek's exaggerated gestures and Aliyah's contagious laughter created a lighthearted ambiance that momentarily eased the tension that simmered beneath the surface.

But for Jordan, the laughter couldn't mask the turmoil within. He stole glances at the closed door, wondering what might have transpired if he'd mustered the courage to speak his heart.

As the evening wound down and Aliyah bid her goodbye, just as Baek-Hyun wished him a good night, Jordan found himself alone in the quiet bedroom. The faint echo of laughter lingered, a stark contrast to the silence that enveloped him now.

He leaned against the window frame, staring at nothing in particular, lost in a maze of emotions. The memory of the kiss they shared at the party haunted him—the unspoken aftermath a constant reminder of their tangled feelings.

The unspoken confessions weighed heavy on his heart, and yet, Jordan couldn't bring himself to bridge the gap between them. He knew their friendship was fragile, a delicate balance he feared disrupting.

With a resigned sigh, he turned off the lights, leaving the apartment cloaked in silence, the unsaid hanging in the air like a dense fog.